Page 64 of Four Weddings to Fall in Love
“Yes, but I appreciate that you wanted to learn how to get me off, and you made sure it happened over and over last weekend.If you don’t want to do something like this again, we don’t have to.”
“No, no,” I say.“I liked it.It’s just a little hard to wrap my head around that.”
“Because you’re just so proper?”
“Well, yes.”
Her laughter is light and lingers in the air, and God, I want to hear that sound again and again.But I don’t want to speak too much of the future.
I’m afraid that would scare her.
Chapter 24
Kim
Iwakeupthenext morning at eight o’clock.I’m surprised Max isn’t already awake—he woke up earlier than me last weekend.An unfamiliar warmth fills me as I watch him sleep, as I realize that I can’t imagine being intimate with anyone else now, not when I’m falling for him.
When I saw him yesterday, scowling at the rain, annoyed it might affect the day he had planned for me, it made me smile.Then he told me he didn’t like sitcoms but identified with Clare fromDerry Girls.
I know Max isn’t what you’d find if you googled the definition of “charming,” but the little things he says and does—like sending me leftovers last weekend—charm me.
I look around the room.There’s a book about European history on the bedside table.Something that I wouldn’t find interesting, but I get the impression he likes learning about a variety of subjects.He never tries to show off his knowledge, though.
Yes, I find everything about this guy charming.
When Max opens his eyes, I cuddle up to him.
“Last night was great,” I say.
“It was.”
I hesitate.“We can stop using condoms, if it’s okay with you.If you’ve been tested, I mean.You’re the only person I’ve slept with since I went to the doctor in the spring, and everything was clear then.I’m not going to sleep with anyone else now.”
“No?”
I shake my head against the pillow.“Nope, just you.”
He smiles.“I got tested late last year.Nothing turned up then, and I haven’t had sex with anyone else since.”
“I have an IUD.Do you trust me to manage birth control?”
“Yes, I trust you.But if you do get pregnant…I’d feel better if we talk about that, however unlikely.”
“I wouldn’t keep it.”We’re lucky to live in a place where we still have access to such healthcare.“I’d get an abortion, like I did last time.”I tense a little, not a hundred percent sure of how he’ll react, but it’s best to talk about these things.I wouldn’t mention the abortion if this was just casual, though I also wouldn’t suggest dispensing with condoms in that case.
Max nods, no judgment in his expression.“When was that?”
I exhale.“I was twenty-four.There was a guy I’d been seeing for a few months…I didn’t realize I was pregnant until after we broke up.I never considered keeping it.”I shrug.
“Do you want children one day?”
“I’m not sure.I think I would, if the circumstances were right, but it’s hard to imagine that happening.I wouldn’t set out to do it on my own, but I haven’t had a relationship in a long time.”I suppose I’m in one now, though.“And so many men leave the bulk of the childcare to their wives or girlfriends, don’t act like an equal partner.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” he says, and I believe him.
I prop my head up on my hand.“Do you want kids?You told my mother that you want two, but don’t worry, I wasn’t counting on your honesty in that conversation.”
“I think I’d like one or two.Definitely not four.”
