Page 80 of Four Weddings to Fall in Love
But more than anything, it’s my mind that’s keeping me up.It refuses to stay quiet.
Now that I’m exhausted and no longer in a state of post-orgasmic bliss, my thoughts return to how romantic love hasn’t been particularly great to me in the past.When I freed myself from it, I felt like I was taking a positive step forme.No longer would I let men—and their families—make me feel as if I wasn’t enough.That meeting with Troy’s mother reminded me of what I left behind.
Yet I’m walking down that path again.Another man, another family, to make me feel bad about myself.
I roll over.I can still feel Max between my legs, and I think…this relationship has to be worth it.It better be.But wanting something to be true doesn’t always make it so.
I awake when my alarm goes off, after a solid three hours of sleep—at most.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter.
Then Max pulls me into his arms and I don’t feel like swearing any more.
“I didn’t sleep well,” I say.
“How about you stay here for a few more minutes while I make coffee?”
I mumble my assent and burrow into the pillow.
A while later, I smell coffee, and I blearily open my eyes to see a mug and coaster on my bedside table.Then the mattress shifts, and there’s a warm body behind me.I shut my eyes again.
“I love you,” he murmurs, and I’m positive he thinks I’m asleep.
For a split second, my whole body smiles, but then my fears from last night, the ones that kept me awake, rush back.
As I continue to feign sleep and let Max stroke my hair, a part of me protests.
He’s different.
But of course, none of my past relationships started the way they ended.Is it foolish to think this could be the one to break the pattern?
“I have to leave soon,” Max says apologetically.“I need to get home and start work.”
I turn over and look at him.He’s pressed and perfect, and I’m convinced he’s the most handsome man in the world.
“Hey, you,” I say.
This man will be my undoing.
Chapter 29
Max
CarlandYvonne’sweddingis quickly approaching, and it feels like a big deal.
Of course, the wedding day is a big deal for my cousin, but it also feels like a big deal for my relationship with Kim.It’s the fourth wedding of the year for both of us.The fourth and final wedding.
We’re actually together now, and everything seems to be going well.For the most part, anyway.Sure, I occasionally experience vertigo and I’m afraid to confess my love for her—when she’s not sleeping, that is—but we see each other regularly and she lets me look after her.And not just in the bedroom, though I’m doing an excellent job there, based on the noises she makes.I think I’ve made good on the promises I made by the lavender fields.
But somehow—I can’t fully explain it—this wedding feels like a test of our relationship.
The morning of the wedding, I’m having breakfast when Evan calls.
“My car won’t start,” he says.“Would you be able to pick me up at the station?”
I exhale in relief.I’m not sure why, but I was afraid something bigger would be wrong.
“Sure, no problem,” I say.
