Page 82 of Four Weddings to Fall in Love
As we start walking down the aisle, my father waves to us.Just as I’m about to tell Kim that we can sit wherever she likes, she heads toward my parents.We take our seats and I get a text from Leo, saying he got a speeding ticket and will be late.He probably won’t make it in time for the ceremony at two thirty.
The rest of us are here, though: me, Kim, Mom, Dad, Evan, and Jon, all sitting in the same pew, all wearing nice clothes for the last wedding of the summer.
I’ll be rather glad to have the weddings over and done with, truth be told.
“Hey, Max.”Aaron taps me on the shoulder as he slides into the pew behind me—he and Rory are on time today, just barely.Rory is still knotting his tie.“How are you?”
Before I can answer, the organ music begins.
Chapter 30
Kim
Thefirstbridesmaidwalksregally down the aisle.She’s wearing a blue dress and carrying a bouquet of white and pale purple flowers.The bridesmaid’s dress is lovely, even nicer than what Tessa had us wear.The flowers—the bouquets, as well as the ones decorating the ends of the pews and the altar—are similarly exquisite.
The next bridesmaid enters and walks toward the front, followed by the third.They all have updos with a few lose curls to frame their faces.They’re followed by another woman in a blue dress, who I presume is the maid of honor, based on the number of men—four—standing beside the groom at the front of the church.She, too, is smiling, but there’s something about it that looks strained.
I attribute it to a long day.The rehearsal dinner was last night, and they were probably up early this morning to start makeup and such.
Behind the maid of honor is Nolan, carrying a pillow with the wedding bands.I wouldn’t trust a three-year-old with expensive jewelry, but he walks happily down the aisle without any shenanigans.Daisy, in the row in front of us, lets out an audible sigh of relief when he makes it to the front.
Next are three little girls in white dresses, somewhere between the ages of three and six, each holding a small bouquet.Everyone coos over how sweet they are.At one point, the middle girl slows down and the last girl bumps into her, but that tiny imperfection just makes it better.Makes itreal.
Then the music changes and the bride enters—
No, where is the bride?
She seems to be a few beats behind, but there she is now, walking down the aisle in a stunning white dress and veil.Her skin is flawless and glowing.
I turn toward the altar, to Carl, who’s watching his wife-to-be.I saw Carl a couple of times a year as a kid, but I don’t know him well now.I never particularly liked him, truth be told.He was the kind of boy who made fun of you and played pranks that weren’t at all amusing, but I’m sure he’s better as an adult.
I don’t understand why he isn’t completely blown away by Yvonne.Or maybe he is and I’m just too far away from him to tell.
Yvonne’s pace seems to slow, and when she passes our pew, I have the distinct feeling that something isn’t right.I’m the closest to the aisle—Max insisted I sit here—so I have a good view of her expression.She’s smiling, but her lips are trembling, and her hands are shaking on the bouquet.Everything about her looks pulled taut, pulled to its breaking point.
Well, planning a wedding is stressful, and dealing with the demands of family isn’t easy.There are so many decisions to be made, so many things to argue about: venue, date, guest list, food, dress… In fact, the more I think about planning a wedding, the more overwhelming it sounds.I mean, my mother and I rarely agree, plus there’s the groom and his family.
I glance over at Max.Do I really know what I’m doing here?I can’t imagine going through the hassle of a wedding.
And then there’s marriage.
Even if your wedding day is stressful, shouldn’t you at least be excited about spending your life with your new spouse?
I’m suddenly convinced that Yvonne isn’t excited.Beneath the veneer of poise and beauty, I’m positive she’s scared shitless on what is supposed to be the happiest day of her life.
That’s the fantasy we’re sold, isn’t it?The happiest day of your life.A whole industry dedicated to providing that for you.
But something is deeply wrong.I didn’t feel that way at Isobel’s, Mirabel’s, or Tessa’s wedding, yet I can’t stop feeling that way now.
Or am I projecting my own issues onto Yvonne?Maybe she’s doing just fine.I’ve barely talked to her before; I don’t know her.I just know myself, and I know I don’t want a packed church wedding like this.I don’t want to be tied to another family, don’t want to be slowly worn down by a long-term relationship.I don’t want to lose myself in a marriage.
I was happy by myself, dammit.I went out, I had fun, I had sex.
Okay, there’s more sex—amazing sex—now that I’m dating Max, and we have fun together…but will it stay this way?
One-night stands were definitely easier.
Then I think of waking up next to him.Dinner in bed.The way he held me close under his big umbrella as we walked to the restaurant in Little Italy; the way it felt safe.
