Page 5 of The Sitcom Star
“You okay?”Adrian asked in concern.
She nodded, held up a finger, and turned away from him as she inelegantly swallowed everything in her mouth without needing to spit out the hot chicken.
“I’m fine,” she croaked.“I mean, I’m not entirely fine.I was probably close to having a breakdown, and I don’t know how to relax.”Why was she telling him all this?“I feel guilty when I do nothing for a day.I makelistsof things I should do to relax.”
He laughed, but not in a mean way.“What will you put on your list for tomorrow?”
“I’m thinking a reality dating show?Not sure which one yet.”
“Any particular reason?”
“Nah, just haven’t seen one in about ten years.”
“But do you actuallywantto?”
“I don’t really know what I want, what I like,” she said.“Professionally, I do, and it’s hard for me to separate that from my private life, especially when for so long, chasing my dreams was my hobby.It was what I did when I had twenty minutes of free time.Now, I’m living my dream and I feel ungrateful, but I really was so exhausted, and drinking triple espressos all the time and…”
She almost rested her head on the table.She shouldn’t be talking like this with someone she hadn’t seen in years, someone she hardly knew, and she didn’t want her overworked state interfering with their conversation.
He shrugged.“I don’t, personally, know what that feels like, but I can understand.”
“What do you like to do for fun?”she asked.
“Well.I like just hanging out and having a drink—alcoholic or otherwise—on a nice night.”He gestured around them.“Videogames.”
“They make me too obsessive and competitive.”
“There are gentle videogames.”
“Gentle?”
“Like, farming and gardening ones.My friend Devon enjoys them.I could ask him for advice?”
“Uh, yeah.Sure.”
“And food, I like food.”As if to emphasize his point, Adrian popped a piece of chicken in his mouth, and unlike Maddie a few minutes ago, he didn’t appear to burn himself.She watched his throat as he swallowed.
Tentatively, she tried another piece of chicken, closing her eyes and attempting to enjoy it as much as possible.
Mmm.
It felt like it had been years since she’d tasted chicken like this.
When she opened her eyes, Adrian was looking at her oddly.A look she couldn’t decipher.Then he shook his head, as if to clear it.
“Yeah,” he said, “I like food.Going out, wandering the city.Since the pandemic started, my social life hasn’t been the same as it was before, but it’s all good.”
“You just wander?Without a destination in mind?”
“Sometimes, yeah.Does that sound weird to you?”
“A little.”
“It’s about the journey, not the destination.”
“Right,” she said.
“You sound skeptical.”
