Page 54 of Two Friends in Marriage
It’s a nice way to spend an evening, something as simple as going to the playground.I have vague memories of going to the park with both of my parents, the memories pleasant but tinged with sadness because of everything that came afterward.I absently rub my hand over Benny’s wheels.
Hm.My lower back is getting itchy again.I set the cars in my lap and discreetly reach behind me to scratch my back, over top of my shirt.
There.That feels a bit better.
“Did a dog lick you?”Nolan asks.
Where did he come from?How is he suddenly in front of me?
So much for being discreet.
At my puzzled look, he says, “One time, a puppy licked me, and I got itchy.Mommy says I probably have an allergy.”
Everything suddenly slots into place.The weird things happening to my body?I’ve been blaming them all on the unfamiliar feeling of attraction, but this is definitely something else.
As Nolan begins talking to a boy about his age, Evan sits on the bench beside me.I try to ignore the warmth radiating from him.
“This is nice,” he says, echoing my earlier thoughts.
“Uh.Yeah.Evan?”
“Hm?”
We both have our gazes on Nolan, who is now racing the other kid.
“When you did the laundry,” I say, “what kind of detergent did you use?”
“They were out of the usual one at the grocery store, so I got what was on sale.”
I was right.This hasn’t happened in over a decade, which is why I didn’t immediately realize what was going on.
“I told you,” I say, “to always buy the same detergent.This one gives me contact dermatitis.”To emphasize this, I scratch myself again, but then I stiffen.
Are we going to have a fight in the middle of a public park?
Maybe I should have kept the annoyance out of my voice, but I couldn’t seem to help it.Itoldhim what to do, and he didn’t listen…or ask if it was okay to buy something else.
My shoulders are hunched up near my shoulders as I watch Nolan on the playground.Maybe being with someone is too complicated.Being alone is simpler.And if we have kids, there will be even more conflict…
“Hey.”Evan puts a hand on my knee.“I’m really sorry.This is my fault.Tomorrow, first thing, I’ll buy the right one, no matter how many stores I have to go to, and rewash all your clothes.Actually, maybe I should wash the machine first to make sure there’s no residue—does vinegar help?I’ll look it up.”
I just stare at him.
Why didn’t I expect him to be understanding?Because I’ve seen Suzanne and my father have long arguments over the stupidest shit?They don’t argue a lot, but when they do, it’s bad.
And my last relationship was so long ago, and we never lived together…and it’s easy to imagine that my ex would have refused to believe I could be so sensitive to detergent, at least by the end.
But this is Evan.Of course he would trust me to know what’s happening to my body, and he’s able to admit he screwed up.
“Hey,” he says again.“I know you’re spiraling—I do that too sometimes, like when the air conditioning stopped working.I don’t know why it’s happening to you now, but I’m so sorry.I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me that you had a really good reason for always using the same detergent—”
“I should have told you the reason.”
“No, no.You said to always get the same one, and I was thoughtless.I swear I’ll fix it as soon as I can.Do you want to go home now?”
I squeeze the toy cars in my lap.“Not right away, but I don’t want to stay late.”I scratch my waist, and Evan looks pained for a moment, like my distress hurts him.
But he papers that over a moment later, as if afraid I’ll try to assure him that I’m okay, and he doesn’t want me to try to soothe him.
