Page 58 of Two Friends in Marriage
“What’s wrong?”she asks.
“Just thinking about the dates I’ve taken to this restaurant.”I grimace.“Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.I know you dated other people before we got married.”
“Still, it feels weird.”I chuckle awkwardly.“And weirder to bring it up.”
She shrugs.“I want to go to the places you like.Actually…” She looks around.“I’m pretty sure you took me here once before.A long time ago, before the pandemic.In winter, maybe?It wasn’t nice enough to sit on the patio.”
A vague memory comes to mind.“With Lana and Camila?”
“Yeah.When they first started dating but weren’t ready to tell anyone, so they pretended nothing was happening.”
“And we spoke afterward and agreed something wasdefinitelyhappening?”
“They were holding hands under the table,” Jane says.
I place my hand on her knee.She puts her hand on top of mine, and we smile dopily at each other.
What is this?
Well, it’s pretty clear that I’m falling in love with someone, yet again.That’s the problem with me: I’ve fallen in love many times, with many different kinds of people, and it’s never worked out.
But I think of her touching up my eyeshadow, pulling my hair as she lies on top of me and jerks me off…and I wonder how I can help it.I didn’t expect this to happen.I’d known Jane for a long time; I thought I knew what our marriage would be like.But somehow, everything has changed.
The real problem is that now, there’s so much more to lose, yet that doesn’t mean this time will be different.
In most of my relationships, I was the one who was dumped.Someone found me lacking.What will she find lacking about me?
Or maybe she’s not falling for me the way I’m falling for her.I don’t think that’s true, after everything that has happened between us now, but I’ve been wrong before.And if I’m wrong and I say something, it will be more than a little awkward.
Fortunately, our food starts arriving, and I try to focus on the taste and smells, losing myself in the sensory experience so I can stop myself from spiraling.When Jane heads to the washroom before dessert, I stare at the bow on the back of her shirt and imagine undoing it.
And many hours later—after we walk around downtown at night and head back to Richmond Hill—I untie that bow, and the shirt falls to the floor in my room.
The next day is a holiday Monday.Jane decides she still wants to work out.When I come downstairs to start the coffee, I notice Watson has stolen the shirt that I wore last night, and I laugh.
And when Jane joins me for coffee outside, I point to Watson and ask what he’s doing.
“Why would I have any idea?”she asks.
The way she says it, with a completely straight face, not even a hint of a smile…yeah, I’m in deep trouble.
Chapter 19
Jane
OnThursdayafternoon,I’mhard at work (sort of) in my home office when the doorbell rings.The last person who rang our doorbell wanted to convert us to their religion, but since it could be the package I’m expecting, I head downstairs.However, when I open the door, it’s clear this isn’t a delivery.
There’s a woman and a little girl on the doorstep.Our next-door neighbors.I’ve seen them from a distance, but I’ve never talked to them before.The dark-haired girl is wearing aFrozenknapsack, her hands gripping the purple straps.
“Hi,” the woman says.“Is Evan here?”
“Sorry, he’s not,” I say.
“I thought he worked from home?”
“Usually, but not this afternoon.”He has a rare in-person meeting.
