Page 66 of Two Friends in Marriage
I tell him the date, and he looks at our calendar.
“Crap,” he says.“I’m supposed to go to Montreal for a few meetings.I was going to come back the following day, but I haven’t booked the flights yet.I can see if—”
“No.”
“You don’t want me there?”He sounds a little disappointed.
“I would,” I say honestly, “but I can manage on my own.I don’t want to cause you any inconvenience.”
He gives me a look.“You’re my wife.”
I’ve heard him call me that before, and it’s just a simple statement of fact.But for some reason, the way he says it causes a stirring of pride and pleasure.
The word represents a commitment we made, a commitment to be a family—and now, it feels like more than what we initially intended.
“If you can make it work,” I say.
He squeezes my hand.“I’ll try to move something up so I can come back that afternoon.”
“Thank you.”To my embarrassment, I feel tears come to my eyes.
“Jane?”Evan doesn’t tell me not to cry, for which I’m thankful, but through the tears blurring my vision, I can see the concern etched on his face.
“I don’t know…I just…my dad didn’t come to the wedding, despite months of notice, and you want to rearrange a trip because of a dinner.”
It’s more than that, but yeah, that’s definitely part of it.I’m someone’s priority now, and I’m not used to it.
A mix of emotions wells up inside me.I want to tell Evan that I love him, but it’s been such a long time since I said those words to anyone.I’m afraid to do anything that might upset what we have.I don’t know how fragile this is.
“You know you deserve so much better, right?”he says.“You deserve a father who actually shows that he cares for you.”
I feel like I ought to defend my dad.Mention that he asked about pap smears.
But I don’t.
“Yes,” I say, “but deserving something doesn’t mean you get it.”I think of queer teenagers who get kicked out of the house by their parents.I also think of how my husband should have had the opportunity to marry for love…and didn’t.
And yes, I do love him now, but I can’t be sure of his feelings.I know he cares for me and has some level of attraction to me, but love?I don’t know.
I wish I had more experience with such things.
He squeezes my hand again.“I’ll get started on dinner.”
Usually, I do the cooking, but this morning, after my poor night’s sleep, he said he’d handle it today.
I pull out my phone to text Peyton.I’m pretty sure I have her number, and I’m also pretty sure I’ve never used it before.Indeed, I soon confirm there’s no message history between us.
ME: Thank you for the card.I got it today.
ME: Where are you going to school?
I set my phone aside.Peyton, presumably, has better things to do on a Friday than text me.But before I have a chance to do some tidying in the living room, my phone buzzes.
PEYTON: Simon Fraser
PEYTON: no way was I staying in Calgary
I can’t help chuckling.I wonder if it was more a need to see someplace different…or to get away from her parents.I’m not sure how long the drive is, but it’s certainly not easy driving distance.A lot more than an hour or three.
