Page 30 of Time Loops & Meet Cutes
I stiffen and think of the first time I saw him. I was crying on this very bench.
“Yeah?” I say with a casualness I don’t feel.
“But I have the sense it wasn’t happy.”
“Do you know what causes déjà vu?”
“I think it’s due to processing errors in the brain. I guess you just made my brain misfire.”
In his case, I suspect the déjà vu is caused by something different, though I don’t understand exactly why it’s happening.
“Well, I’m honored,” I say, not sharing my suspicions.
He laughs, and I marvel at the fact that I’m sitting here with him, after all those failed attempts at kissing.
He eats a fry and a piece of bulgogi dotted with green onions and some kind of sauce. Then he holds the paper tray of fries toward me. I help myself, making sure I get both bulgogi and a cheese curd.
“Not bad,” I say, “but mine’s better.” I hold it out so he can sample.
We eat our food in contented silence for a minute. Although we’re not making conversation, there’s lots of noise around us: food sizzling on a grill, children shrieking, K-pop in the background. The aromas of many different cuisines mingle together… and then there’s Cam’s clean, soapy scent.
“What did you do before the brewery?” I ask.
“I have a degree in life sciences.”
“Were you planning on going to med school?Didyou go to med school?”
“Nah. For a while, that was my plan, but I didn’t have the marks for it. Worked in a lab for a couple of years.”
I tilt my head, trying to picture him in a lab.
He chuckles. “Yeah, I didn’t love it. Then my friend Darrell got into brewing, and I became interested too. Quit my job to work at a brewery in the east end, took some classes, and a few years later, this happened.” He gestures at his shirt. “Oops. Forgot I changed.”
“You put on a fancy outfit for your date.”
He holds my gaze for a long beat, and eventually, I have to look away because it’s too much. I’ve lived this day numerous times, yet it’s never been likethis. It makes me wonder about allthe other routes my life might have taken, if one day had gone a little differently. Maybe some random choices on a March 7 could have altered my path.
“You’ve got some chutney… there.” He points to the corner of his mouth.
I reach up to wipe it away.
“No, other side.” He leans toward me, his face just a few inches from mine.
My heart thumps quickly in anticipation. My skin prickles in awareness. He’s so close, his lips parted ever so slightly.
This is it. He’s going to kiss me.
But then he hands me a napkin, and I paper over my disappointment with a smile and an overzealous “Thanks!”
Once we toss our empty trays in a nearly overflowing trash bin, we continue walking around the market. Night is starting to fall, and now it feels more like, well, a night market. Strands of lights twinkle against the darkening sky.
“Dessert?” Cam asks.
We survey the options, and I settle on halo-halo, something I’ve never had in my many trips to this market. He considers getting cheesecake but ultimately goes with red-bean taiyaki.
The benches are full now, and I hesitate before leading him up the stairs and around the civic center. Despite the busyness of the market, it’s not crowded here, but there’s no place to sit, so we lean against the wall instead. We’re not alone, not really, but it’s as good as we can do before my ube ice cream melts.
The ice cream is delicious, but the flan—oh, the flan is possibly the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life, and I close my eyes and groan. It feels unfair that I’m enjoying this by myself, so I pick up a tiny piece with my spoon and hold it to Cam’s lips. He tastes it, and I try not to be jealous of a fucking plastic spoon for the contact it gets with his mouth.
