Page 29 of Motivating Mira
My face got hot. So fricking hot. And flashes of memories assaulted my brain. “Oh.” Something ugly twisted inside me then. For someone who didn’t work or attend school there, as far as I was concerned, there was only one reason to drive to Rawhide Ranch, and it definitely wasn’t to admire the scenery along the way.
“I haven’t scened in months,” he added. “It’s time. I need to burn some of this pent-up tension off.”
And there it was. I was right. Hewasn’tgoing for a scenic drive, no matter how beautiful that scenery might be.
I swallowed and licked my dry lips. “I’m not?—”
“That girl anymore?” he finished with a grin. “I wasn’t asking you to scene with me, Mira.”
God, that hurt. Like really hurt. We were friends though. And maybe being friends meant some honesty on my part.
I shoved my hands in my pocket and looked at my feet a moment before making eye contact again. “I kinda still live there.”
His eyes widened, but he schooled his expression quickly. “You do?”
“I go to Rawhide University,” I said, the words just sort of tumbling out.
“That’s the small university you said I wouldn’t have heard of?”
I nodded. “I just wanted you to know… if you’re going to be going there more often… We might bump into each other…” I looked away, the awkwardness too much.
“Hey, that makes this kind of convenient.”
My eyes snapped up to his. “Convenient?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. They have restaurants and bars there. And we won’t have to worry about driving home if we have more than one drink. And I can tell we both need more than one drink.”
The only convenience I was thinking about then was how a scene in the Dungeon would destress us both. Except… I wasn’t that girl anymore. And playing with him could never be casual.
My mind snagged on how languid I’d felt after Professor Stahlbaum disciplined me. How my body had been as limp ascooked linguini, and my mind so blissfully empty. I longed for that now.
After that punishment, I’d slept well for the first time in months and kept sleeping well as long as the soreness on my ass lasted. It had been so amazing, I’d agreed to scene with a visiting Dom who I met while working as a service sub in the Dungeon. We made a plan for a time and met up. It was the first scene in the Dungeon I’d done since I’d found out about my mom, but it didn’t work like it had with Professor Stahlbaum. Not at all. In fact, it had left me feeling so empty and alone, I’d wanted to throw up.
I thought maybe it was the reality of my punishment with Professor Stahlbaum that made it work so well. But I knew the truth, whether I admitted it or not, I had always needed intimacy and connection in a scene. And there was definitely a disconnect when I’d played with the stranger.
And that disconnect was on me. I had been keeping everyone at arm’s length these days. And even when the guy tried to get to know me, I didn’t open up. I couldn’t tell him what I was going through, and him not knowing made it feel unsafe.
“Is it too weird for you, Mira?”
I blinked up at Wes, my heart beating a fast but steady rhythm as I shoved my inner thoughts away. It was just a few drinks with a friend. That’s all. And when he went to the Dungeon to play? I squared my jaw. I’d go to my dorm and sleep. The alcohol would make sure of it.
“No, not at all.” I smiled but it was as fake as a Halloween mask.
An hour and a half later, I walked into Rawhide’s lobby and saw Dr. Wes standing with his hands in his pockets, admiring the beamed ceiling. He’d changed out of his scrubs and was wearing a pair of jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt that showed off his pecs. His hair was damp at the neck, darkeningthe collar of his shirt. And I noticed his jeans had a tear near the front pocket.
It brought me back.
He walked out of the bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. His bare chest, tanned and well-muscled, was covered in light hair. I longed to touch it, run my hands over it and feel his strength and heartbeat beneath my palm.
“Okay, let’s look at this portfolio website,” he’d said, but I didn’t want to, not now that he was out here, half naked and smelling like the wood barrel rum body wash I loved. He’d told me to pick out photos of all my best work and upload them to the website he’d purchased for me a few nights ago, but I hadn’t done it. I was feeling shy sharing my art. And some of it was of BDSM scenes and the couples in them resembled us.
“Later, let’s do something else instead.”
His brow quirked as he closed the distance between us. “I promised I’d help you with this before I left. And you’ve managed to distract us every time.” He reached out to tug on the thick braid hanging over my shoulder. “Didn’t you do your homework, girlie?”
“It’s our last night.” My voice cracked a little, but he didn’t say anything.
“Exactly.” He took my chin in his hand, pressing his lips gently to mine. “We’re out of time and I always keep my promises.”
