Page 84 of Betrayed in the Dark
They burned him.
Fury swirls inside me. Anger like I’ve never felt before clouds my vision. “Who did this to you?” I ask, unable to hide the tremor in my voice. “Who fucking hurt you?”
“I don’t know,” he replies, tucking my hair behind my ear. “They never spoke English around me. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. After spending so much time in Iraq, I became familiar with many of their words in Arabic and Kurdish, but they weren’t speaking either of those languages.”
A realization hits me, and my eyebrows furrow. “Were they Russian?”
His hand freezes against my face. “Why would you think that?”
“When I came in here tonight, you mumbled something against your pillow. It sounded like ‘szhech’ yego,’ but my Russian is a little rusty, so I’m not positive.”
“What does that mean?”
I pause before answering, “It meansburn him.”
He shows no emotion as he processes this information, his mind deep in thought.
“If they were Russian, why would they take you?” I ask. “Why would they do this to you? What did they want?” I shake my head, my heart racing, my mind working into overdrive. “It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand—”
“Shh,” he whispers, tightening his hold around me. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.” Tears spill out of my eyes. “They hurt you, and they got away with it. They hurt you, and I want to know why.”
He gently wipes his thumb beneath my eyes. “Some questions I’ll never have answers to, and I have to learn to live with that, or it will only fester inside me. It will hinder me from moving forward.” He shrugs. “At least that’s what my therapist tells me.”
His words take me by surprise. “You saw a therapist?”
He nods. “Still do. It was recommended by my doctors when I came home. They diagnosed me with PTSD.” He looks away from me, his fingers gliding over the sheet. “I displayed all the signs: flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance—you name it. Eventually, insomnia set in because I was too scared to fall asleep, fearing the dreams that would follow.” He glances down at me with a sad smile. “Bet I don’t seem so tough now, huh?”
I shake my head. “You’re the bravest man I know. Nothing will ever change the way I see you.” I press my lips to his chest, right over his heart. “What happened to you was something no one should ever have to endure. And it breaks my heart that you have.”
I wish he had told me all of this sooner.
I wish he had felt safe enough to trust me with his story.
But I know why he didn’t.
Because when he came home, I was engaged to another man.
And it was in his best interest that I kept my distance from him, which is exactly what I tried to do for so long.
Even if it broke my heart every damn day.
I glance up at him, the man who holds my heart in his hands. “Eli, I…”Love you.I close my lips because I have to. Because if I say those three words, then I risk his safety.
I risk everything.
And I won’t do that.
He must see the sorrow in my eyes because he leans forward and softly presses his lips to mine. It’s gentle and slow—everything we both need.
“I know,” he whispers, brushing his lips over my temple. I press my face into his chest, listening to his heartbeat beneath my ear.
A moment of silence passes between us before I say, “Eli?”
“Yes, love?”
“How did you get out of there?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
