Page 33 of Rah
“Man, you are crazy as fuck!” I shook my head in disbelief as I walked back down the steps to escape the excessive heat of the flames.
“Who is she?!”
“Who iswho?!”
“Aaliyah! That bitch’s house you’ve been at! Is that your baby?!”
Fuck!
All kind of thoughts were flying around in my head, like my money was flying around as it burned in that fucking grill! I wondered how she could possibly know about Aaliyah or the baby. I had been real careful, so I thought.
The quickest thing I could think to say was, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“The bitch that lives in Beverly! That house I watched you use a key to go in and come out of carrying a baby earlier today!”
I shrugged it off dismissively. “Girl, that’s one of Carlos’ side chicks!”
“Stop lying!!”
Her voice bounced off the houses surrounding us. It flew through the cold wind and smacked me in the face with a hard punch of reality. She was standing on the other side of the fire giving me an icy stare that was way colder than the twenty–degree weather that we were standing in. She was only wearing jeans, a tee shirt, and gym shoes. I imagined that she was so angry with me that she didn’t even feel the freezing temperatures.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” She was trippin’ for real if she thought I was about to tell her anything. Those tears didn’t mean shit to me.
“You’re lying, Rah!”
“You didn’t even ask me. You just burn my shit up assuming that I did something wrong?”
“Iknowyou did.”
“You’re so fucking dramatic! Stop overreacting!”
She lost the last piece of control that she had left when I said that. Her mouth dropped so low that it damn near fell into the fire. “Dramatic?! You’ve been cheating on me, cheating on our kids, and I’m the one being dramatic?!”
She looked at me like she was pleading for me to just see what I had done and how I hurt her. She wanted me to be sorry, for me to acknowledge her hurt. I could see that if I had only done that, it would have made her feel just a little bit better.
I wasn’t moved; this was her fault. She needed to stay in her place and mind her own business. Then she wouldn’t be inthis predicament, and she wouldn’t have this hurt look on her face.
“What you think I did is your own imagination! Those tears are your fault!”
She was so shocked at how dismissive I was that she lowered her guard. I took that as opportunity to approach the house, but she soon found her courage again.
“No! Go back toherhouse!"
I didn’t have to put up with this. I could very well have turned around and went to Aaliyah’s crib. She would have welcomed me with opened arms and legs, a wet mouth, peace and quiet, and even a plate, if I wanted it. I’d spent every other night away from Solae and the kids, lying and blaming my absence on work. But now, just because she wanted me out, I wanted in.
Nobody told me no.
“You can’t keep me out of my house.”
“You’re never here anyway!”
Elijah and I caught eyes. Even on the other side of the window, I could see his tears.
“Let me go talk to the kids.”
Solae laughed insanely. She sounded possessed with anger. “Yo’ ass ain’t never at home, but now you wanna be here?!”
“Fuck this,” I mumbled as I walked towards the steps. I was going to get in that fucking house just to prove to Solae that she didn’t run shit;Idid.
