Page 10 of Myths and Manuscripts
Chapter 5
Willow
I’d brought the Demon Lord to Mochi’s Snack Shack while he gathered his thoughts, but the longer we sat here, the more my mind raced. He was the very first person to read my book and he was like an emotionless stone! I had no idea what he was thinking. Did he hate it? Did he love it?
Nothing. He just kept flipping through my manuscript and casually scribbling notes on another piece of paper like this whole experience wasn’t stressing me out. I wished I’d never given him my story in the first place. Then I’d be at the apothecary shop all nice and cozy mixing herbs. Instead I was here, trying not to grind my teeth too hard.
Mochi slid a third mug of hot cocoa across the counter to me. I caught it and took a long drink, downing the warm cocoa like it was nectar from the gods. It warmed me up and gave me a nice sugar rush as I licked whipped cream off my lip. Mochi had even added marshmallows to this one, upping the sugar content with each mug he’d given me.
“One more please, Mochi.” I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I wished the Demon Lord would just say something. Anything. “With cookies too maybe?”
A soft furry paw patted my arm as if the red panda was consoling me. His fluffy tail swayed behind him as he chirpedsomething incomprehensible.
The Demon Lord smirked. “He’s cutting you off.”
“What?” I glanced at all the empty mugs next to me. Maybe I had had a bit too much. “But it’s just cocoa! It’s not like I’m drinking dragon’s breath ale or something.”
Plus, it was the only thing distracting me from the Demon Lord’s very slow notetaking. I just wanted to know what he thought already. Was that really so hard? I sighed, lying my head on the wooden counter as I traced a tiny scorch mark the dragons must have left behind. It was sweet how they had all worked together making this for Mochi.
The red panda tilted his head at me, his ears twitching as one more mug of cocoa appeared in his paws. This one had whipped cream, marshmallows, chocolate shavings, and mini cookies in it too.
“Thank the gods,” I murmured, then winced. “I mean, thank the pandas!”
Mochi’s chatter almost sounded like a laugh as he pawed my hand one more time. I scratched behind his ears, my fingers getting lost in the soft fur of his coat. He was one of my favorite story spirits, so adorable and always watching out for everyone. I just wished I could understand him like the other story spirits could.
He leaned into my hand, eyes closed in bliss. If a good scratch was all he wanted in return for the many, many cocoas and good company, I’d gladly oblige.
Mochi chirped and moved away as he busied himself with setting up food for the lunch rush later.
“Okay, I can’t take this anymore. Give it to me straight.” I sat up, steeling myself for the Demon Lord’s response. “You hated it, right? That’s why you’re taking so long to answer?”
He paused, actually paused, and the whole world felt like it was crashing down on my shoulders. My pulse raced as I rubbedmy sweaty palms on my pants. Maybe drinking that much hot cocoa wasn’t the best idea. I was burning up here.
“I liked it,” he finally admitted. “It’s got a lot of potential.”
Potential? Having potential was what people said about houses that were falling apart but could be nice if you put years worth of work into them.
I downed more cocoa. “So you didn’t love it, huh?”
“What, no, I said I liked it.” He frowned at me. “You’ve got a bit of, well, you’re covered in whipped cream.”
My face warmed as I wiped the cream off my lip, waiting for him to say more.
“You’ve got a unique voice.” He glanced at his notes, but my mind was already racing.
Unique voice usually meant it was super weird and not something a person would enjoy reading. The book was about a Queen giving up her right to the throne once she accomplished all her goals. She also proved she didn’t need love to get anything done, which admittedly wasn’t the expected route to take.
Maybe that had been a terrible idea and the story really didn’t have a chance. I should just forget about it and move on. Grandpa would be proud that I’d given writing a try finally and that was all that mattered...right? Gran would have to be okay with that.
The Demon Lord sighed. “Why does it seem like everything I say is sending you into a depressed cocoa binge? You wanted the truth, but you’re barely listening.”
“Sorry...go on.”
“Since you seem to want the bad news first, here it is: your characters are hard to identify with.” He paused, as if waiting for me to freak out again, before continuing. “The plot is really good and I love the worldbuilding, but it’s missing the raw emotions. The story has such big highs and lows with a tragic ending for the romance, but their feelings barely scratched the surface. With aplot like that, I should have been emotionally destroyed by the end and cursing your name, but I kind of just set the book down and was done. Personally, I think it would satisfy a lot more readers if you let them get together in the end. It felt...abrupt when the Queen left.”
Was romance really all that mattered to people? Sure, it was the bestselling genre out there, but there had to be a place for realistic endings too. Sometimes people just didn’t work together and that was fine. I’d had plenty of old boyfriends call me cold and distant, but we still managed to be friendly when we saw each other. That’s just how life went sometimes.
I guess I could have made it clearer that my characters were ending as friends. Maybe that would help...
