Page 67 of Backslide
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
“Are you,” I ask, “desperate?”
It comes out hoarser than I intend.
He rakes his gaze up my body to my face, something ragged in his eyes. “Do you want me to answer that?”
Maybe it’s the meds taking effect, but this is as direct as he’s been.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
He sighs. Pushes himself to standing. Crosses to the hot tub and begins to wade in, down some steps.
“How does it feel?” I ask.
He bites his lip. “Perfect.”
“Is it weird if I get in too?”
He shakes his head. “Not any weirder than anything else.”
I am about to shed my towel when I remember I’m holding my top in my hand. “I should probably put this on,” I say.
“Probably.” He rubs a hand roughly at the back of his neck.
“One second!” I scurry behind a dracaena in a large planter and fasten my bikini at the back. I make sure I have full coverage and then reemerge.
“Tada! All respectable!” I say.
“Great,” he grunts, looking truly miserable.
I join him on the steps, ankle-deep in warm water.
We stand next to each other for a beat, hands on our respective hips, then swap sideways glances.
I see his Adam’s apple bob beneath stubble. He clears his throat. “I’ll just go first.”
Noah wades all the way in, his body disappearing below the foamy surface. And he groans in a way that moves through me, leaving trails. But I’m fine.Totallyfine. I cross one leg in front of the other. “This actually feels amazing.”
“Well, you were literally just on ice, so.”
“The cold water is good for circulation, stimulates the lymphatic system.”
“It’s still frigid as fuck.”
“You afraid?” he asks, an eyebrow cocked.
“No. I just don’t see the point of subjecting myself to pain.”
“You know what they say about pain…”
“To avoid it?”
“That it’s just the B-side of pleasure,” he shrugs, holding my gaze for a beat—like he knows what’s in my mind. “I’m just saying, the hot water feels better because of the cold. But if you can’t handle it…”
“I can handle it.”
“Like you handled the gummy?”
