Page 101 of Isn't It Obvious?
“There’s still a possibility,” she says.
“What concerns would it raise, exactly?”
Lauren purses her lips. “It’s… unseemly. They may also question your devotion to their children’s academic betterment if your time is split.”
Yael’s stomach drops. “You can’t be serious,” she says, all pretense dropping. “Have you had any issues with my performance?”
“No, but—”
“Not only do I do my contracted job, I started a successful book club for queer students that I secured a grant for entirely on my own. I have never once let the podcast affect either of those responsibilities. I hired an editor even before theRenegadedeal because it was too much for me to do all on my own outside of work hours.”
Lauren’s eyes turn steely, and she lifts her jaw in defiance. Or perhaps out of insult atYael’sdefiance. “Sometimes we have to make tough choices,” she says. “It’s not a good idea for you to do both, for you or for Kennedy. These students need you, and you need to decide where your priorities lie.”
Yael can see exactly what Lauren is doing. She wants to force her hand, make her quit the podcast. It’s the same thing Lauren did thirteen years ago when Yael asked her to stop trotting her name, photo, and resumé highlights out at every school board meeting. And again, ten years ago, when Yaelfound out from Sanaa’s little sister that she was still starring in newsletters even though she’d already graduated.
But Yael loves this podcast she’s built, she’s good at it, and as of this month, she’s pulling in considerably more than her librarian salary. Her heart slows its pumping, no longer thudding against her rib cage.
I haven’t wanted to be here for the past year, she realizes. Years, maybe.
And she doesn’t have to be. She isn’t stuck anymore. Maybe she never truly was.
“Well,” she says coolly. “I’ll be sad to leave Kennedy, but I understand if it’s what’s best for the students.”
Lauren treats her to an honest-to-goodness jaw drop, and it takes everything in Yael not to smile.
“I’m happy to stay on through the end of the school year while you find a replacement, and I’d also love to stay on with the book club as a community volunteer,” she continues.
“You love being a librarian,” Lauren sputters.
“I love reading and thinking and talking about books,” Yael says. “I still get to do that in my other job. And if I miss being a librarian enough, I’ll look for another position eventually, maybe one where the potential for concerned parents would pose less of an issue. Would you like me to submit my resignation now, or wait until spring?”
The look on Lauren’s face is one she’s never seen before. She searches for the words to describe it to Sanaa and Charlie later, and the best she can do isangry muppet. It’s cartoonish, Lauren’s fury. Lauren clears her throat. “Why don’t we wait until spring,” she says.
Yael grins. “Feel free to direct any interviewees my way for questions when the time comes. Is there anything else?”
“That’s all,” Lauren says, her voice tight.
Yael stands, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Have a good night, Lauren,” she says, and walks out the door.
She nods at Sherine on her way out, breathing like she’s run a marathon, her body catching up to the reality of what she’s just done. Gina’s waiting for her, tucked out of view from the front office’s window.
“Library office?” she asks.
It’s on this floor, but the thought of locking herself in there with anybody else is still too much for Yael, so she shakes her head. “Your classroom,” she says, and follows Gina up the stairs against the flow of traffic. They both take them two at a time.
“Are you okay?” Gina asks once they’re safe in the far corner of the classroom.
“I think so,” Yael answers honestly. “Lauren likesRenegade, apparently.”
Gina squints, tilting her head as if she thinks she hasn’t heard Yael quite right. “Isn’t she way too old to be in their demographic?”
A laugh bursts from Yael’s chest. “Right?”
“I mean, like, that makes me question my own sense of humor.”
“Well, I thinkRenegadeis funny, too.”
“I’ve listened to your podcast,” Gina says, giving her a playfully skeptical look. “Not all of your jokes are winners.”
