Page 2 of The Duke's Indecent Match
“Of course I am, Papa; that is what is supposed to happen.”
“Ah, well then.I suppose it is a good thing, though I will miss it when I can carry you like this.Were you making your way home?”He turned toward their bungalow.
“Yes.”
“Where were you?You know you are not supposed to be out by yourself.”The scolding was far gentler than the one she would have received from her mother.“You need to take someone with you.”
“I am sorry, Papa,” she said, laying her head against his shoulder, rather than admitting out loud that she had not wanted someone with her.She had not wanted anyone to see her rejected over and over again.
Or worse, accepted because there was someone watching, only to be abandoned later.
“Do not do it again, Kalina.”
“I will not.”
He hitched her up on his hip, pausing for a moment before speaking again.
“Did you find what you were looking for?”he asked gently.
“No.”She did not know if he knew she had been looking for friends or if he just knew better than to ask exactly what she had been looking for.
Papa sighed.Not out loud.But she felt it as his chest moved against her body.She tightened her hold around his neck.
“I am sorry, Kalina,” he said gently.“One day, we will move to England.Things will be easier there.”
That was what Papa always said.
“Will it?”she asked.“The English children do not want to play with me.They think I am too Indian.But the Indian children think I am too English.”
Still carrying her, Papa was silent for a long moment, and she knew he was thinking.
“In England, it is your rank that matters.And my father is among the highest,” he said after a while.“That is your grandfather.Here… things are more difficult.Not everyone is in favor of the English presence in India.There are… things that have been done that make for ill feelings between our people.Not everyone, of course.Your mother still fell in love with and married me, after all.”
“What things?”Kalina asked.She could always tell when her parents were talking around the important details, but they rarely explained what they meant.
“When you are older, we will talk about it,” Papa said, the way he always did.
Now, it was Kalina’s turn to sigh.She was older every day, but that did not seem to matter.No one would tell her, not even the servants.She wondered whether the other children knew.The ones who would not play with her.Maybe that was why they would not play with her.
But why would they know when she was too young to know?
But then, why would they not play with her?
It was all very confusing.And frustrating.
Rather than going into the bungalow, Papa took her around to the verandah.A cool breeze was blowing over the stone, the shade easing some of the day’s growing heat.Soon, it would be time to rest.No one would be playing or doing much of anything at all.
“Do you want to hear more about England?”Papa asked eagerly.
Kalina could tell he wanted her to say yes.He loved to talk about his home.And despite the fact that she had never lived anywhere but India, and he had lived here since before she was born, he still referred to England as home.
“Yes, please, Papa,” she said as he sat down in one of the chairs, still holding onto her.She snuggled against him, grateful he was there.How could she feel lonely when her Papa and Mama loved her so much?Perhaps she was feeling greedy in wanting friends, too.
Not everyone had a Papa and Mama who loved them as much as hers did, or perhaps they were just not as open with demonstrating their love.Kalina had observed many parents who were cold, impatient, or even cruel to their children.Most were not as open and loving as hers.
Maybe it was a trade?
“First of all, England is far cooler than this heat, even in the summer,” he began.“There will be lords bowing over your hand and ladies flocking to admire your dresses and jewels.”
