Page 91 of Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
‘Where are we, Danny?’ I asked.
‘Family mill.’
This was not what I expected as a pit stop and there was not an actual Lake in sight but Danny clearly wasn’t bothered. He parked up and came round to open my door. I’ll admit it was a quaint building, well-landscaped with what looked like a factory at the back. I didn’t want to feel stupid as I hadn’t presumed paper to be something you milled. It was just shaved off trees, no? I kept my naivety to myself.
‘Friend of yours, Hobbsy?’ I asked.
Even now, I don’t know his real name.
‘Schoolmates. Mucked around back in the day.’
Danny knew everyone there that day: the ladies on reception, a couple of boys who were in the break room wearing blue overalls; I followed like a little lamb introducing myself as Danny’s friend from the big smoke. We hadn’t labelled our relationship yet. We were shagging and having fun. I had a toothbrush at his flat and a quarter of a drawer reserved for some face cream, a mascara and a few pairs of pants but that was it.
We didn’t have to search for Bob Morton, he came looking for us. He emerged from his office while we were chatting to Sue on reception.
‘Laddy, now this is a surprise!’ There was a full-on embrace where he wrapped his arms around him and I smiled broadly. He spied me immediately.
‘Are you the new one?’
‘Does he bring a new one up every month then?’
He smiled. We’ve always had a good rapport, me and Bob. This is not how I’d imagined I’d ever meet him: I smelt like car sweets and my hair was bundled in a messy long car trip travel bun. He also had what looked like pastry crumbs in his beard but he bellowed with laughter at my response. And then he hugged me the same way he embraced his own son; the way you’d imagine a human would be cuddled by a big, cartoon bear.
‘Lovely to have you here, Meg. Sue, be a dear and let’s get kettle on.’
Sue made me a tea that was strong enough to bleach a toilet and followed me around with slices of fruit cake. I was given a tour of the mill. I got to wear a hard hat, I got to meet what felt like half of Kendal. Everyone was giving me the eye – I was Danny Morton’s new thing. Danny didn’t care. He welcomed everyone warmly. When there was a jam in one of the machines, Danny helped them to push some levers. In a hard hat, adopting a bit of a lunge and biceps bulging from both sleeves, I’ll admit the image made an impression.
There was a wonderful feeling of camaraderie. Bob was warm and respectful and people showed that to him in return. It felt like if I had any knowledge of the paper production industry, this is where I’d want to work. Later when we left, I found out that Bob had hired Hobbsy as he’d been going off the rails after school (mounting farm animals was just the start). He created the job for him. They’d just relied on CCTV before that. Danny told me that story on the way to his family home and that’s when I fell in love with him. He had no qualms in introducing me to his parents; he spoke of them with pride. He regaled stories of everyone who worked at the mill and it showed me that this was someone invested in people, someone with heart.
* * *
I drive up to the same security hut now where a new recruit called Martin sits with a cup of tea, wearing a hat that seems to be held up by his ears. He never quite knows what to do when he sees me. It’s like the queen is here and no one told him to expect her. He scrambles with buttons and I think he may salute me as the barrier is raised. It’s the end of a working day and people are getting into their cars and heading home. A smartly dressed Hobbsy, now head of operations, heads over to give me a hug.
‘Madame Morton, always a pleasure…’
‘How are you, love? How are the twins?’
‘Grand.’ He whips out his phone to show me a pic.
‘Little beauties. Obviously take after Dee.’
He laughs. ‘Don’t you know it. I better be off or she’ll have me guts.’
I wave him off and am accosted by Sue from reception who wraps her arms around me.
‘How are you lovely? Last time I saw you was at Bob’s seventy-fifth, getting mullered…’
Oh, Sue. You don’t know the half of that story. ‘We had a lot of celebrating to do. Is Danny still in?’
‘Yes, him and Olive are just finishing an accounts thing. Make sure he doesn’t stay here past six. I know what he’s like.’
I salute her back and head into reception where Olive is packing away her lunchbox.
‘You’re looking well, Olive.’
‘That’ll be Slimming World, lost 10lbs. Haven’t got in this skirt since the nineties.’
It wasn’t a comment on her weight but she glows all the same.
