Page 104 of Did My Love Life Shrink in the Wash?
‘He came round with a cheque,’ she says, the tears welling up in her eyes. I lean over to the coffee table and pass her a tissue, shaking my head in disgust.
‘We fought. I threw him out. I was scared so I came here. I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. I’m glad Will was here.’
‘He’s really nice. He’s a bit of a closet feminist, eh?’
‘How so?’
‘He told me it was my body, my choice.’
He’s always been like that, a liberal, an advocate for choice and kinder politics.
‘He was sweet, we spoke for a long time and I drank lots of your tea. I think he talked me off the ledge.’
I realise how very fragile she is. I am glad Will was here and decent enough to catch her.
‘Will can be good like that. I’m glad he was here for you.’
It pains me to say it out loud when he’s not done the same for me but I don’t want to shatter her illusions of men completely. We hear Joe giggling next door.
‘Is he a good dad?’
I pause. ‘He has his moments.’
‘He’s really cute, you know?’
‘Joe or Will?’
She laughs. ‘Joe, of course. How do you make the whole mum thing look so easy?’
As is the way with Yasmin, it’s difficult to know if she’s being sarcastic or not.
‘Are you joking?’ I ask her.
‘No. You have a good thing here. It’s cosy, the three of you together.’
I stare back at her, wondering what it is she sees here. She’s never once mentioned my dodgy carpet or the fact that when she is here hanging out with me, I mainly wear men’s trackies. She sees some other picture, some perfect little family. I don’t have the heart to tell her otherwise.
‘Do you think I could do it?’ she asks me.
‘Motherhood? On your own?’
She nods.
Girl, you’d have to eat something.
‘My sister recently adopted two little girls. She’s planning on raising them on her own. Well, not in a complete bubble. Do you remember Grace?’
‘Vaguely? You Callaghans all merged into one for me. Did she get dumped too?’
I pause. ‘Her husband died of cancer.’
She looks alarmed, dropping the spikiness of her tone. ‘Shit.’
‘Babies… all of this is pretty relentless. I change a lot of nappies. It’s the hardest thing I’ve done in my life for no other reason than it’s not just me anymore. I have a Joe.’ I could barely take care of my own needs most days, it was miracle to ask me to do that for another person. ‘Look, I won’t tell you what to do but if you have this baby then find friends, family…people to support you?’
She looks at me, pensive, like she wants me to fill that role. I’m hesitant. I’m not sure what to tell her. I’m not sure what we have in common. She puts her hand to her belly. We do have that, I guess. Maybe this starts with more tea.
