Page 36 of Did My Love Life Shrink in the Wash?
Will’s head appears at the doorway and he eyes me suspiciously. ‘You dark horse.’
‘I’m an expert drug smuggler it would seem. The pills are in a bin in Islington. I also gave that weed to Lucy as an early Christmas present.’
There is the familiar clink of teaspoons against mugs and the clatter of them landing in the bottom of the sink as he returns to sit next to me. I halve the Twix and give him one of the fingers. I bite into one and crumbs line my cleavage and dress. I am a messy eater; it means when we give Joe solids, he’ll have an ally. Will wipes a slug-like trail of caramel from the side of my mouth, and looks me in the eye, almost like he wants to tell me something.
‘This… The whole night, all I thought was, I just want to be on our sofa with you,’ he says.
It’s a romantic declaration. I’d rather it was Emma’s sofa but it does feel nice to be back in our nest, somewhere that’s familiar and not vibrating with noise and energy. We were out in the world like two scared kittens; it was possibly too much, too soon. I go to unstrap Joe from his car seat and bring him into the huddle. My head finds Will’s chest and we lie there for a moment, taking it all in. Joe still looks very confused, like he’s waiting for a party to start. Will circles a finger in his palm and he grasps it tightly.
‘Funny story. Do you remember those photos Joe took outside the pub with that rapper girl? I think they’ve become a thing?’
I get out my phone to show him. He laughs and studies the pictures in detail. I also notice Lucy has copied them and tagged them into her Instagram stories and my inbox seems to be pinging. Will cups Joe’s face.
‘Well, something fun to tell him when he’s older I guess.’
I scroll through the messages on my phone, one of them from Giles, the creative director.
‘Wow. Giles has asked if we want to be in a music video too.’
‘You want to be in a music video, Joe?’ Will jokes.
Is he asking Joe? I don’t think our son would mind as long as the milk kept coming.
‘We could be on MTV. Is that still a thing?’ I mutter. My attention is drawn to the details in the message. ‘It’s next week and not too far from here. We could take the train.’ But when I turn back, Will is looking down at his own phone, worried.
‘Problems?’ I ask.
‘Work. Sam loves this. She got us all drunk last night and now she’s sending us stuff to do on Sunday, making us feel guilty if we don’t pitch in. I’ll need to fire up the laptop.’
He cradles his head in his hands.
‘Maybe have a power nap, a coffee?’
‘I’m sorry about this, B.’
I glance over at her emails. She likes her FULL CAPS and the tone is slightly blunt and unappreciative. I don’t say a word, but in my mind, that’s the workings of a pretty shitty boss. Will mutters under his breath about deadlines and drawings. He paces the room going through his satchel, Joe’s eyes following him as the stress radiates from his face. He disappears into our bedroom to take a call.
I look down at Joe. ‘Is it time for a nap yet?’ I ask him.
Joe giggles back at me.Errr, it’s mid-morning, lady. I got baby things to do. We’ve got videos to be in and I have nappies to get through.
It’s going to be one of those lost days, isn’t it? Tired and sleepy and running chores like laundry and washing any traces of weed off my tits. It may involve hamburgers later. It will certainly involve being Will’s tea bitch. I hear him discussing architecty things through the door. My eyelids feel heavy and my head drops but then a gurgling noise wakes me up, bright bear eyes gazing at my sorry face.
Just you and me then, milk lady.
I guess it is.
Track Eight
‘You Got the Style’ – Athlete (2002)
Are you there? Is it posh?texts Lucy.
Uber posh. There was a receptionist with eighties shoulder pads and there’s a lot of glass. I keep walking into it.
LOL. You idiot. How’s Joe? Is he nervous? Did you put him in red? He looks good in red.
I put him in head-to-toe black as I was told that’s slimming.
