Page 118 of Did My Love Life Shrink in the Wash?
‘And he thinks I’m a supermodel, so I love him even more now.’
They continue to laugh while Will and I look on, confused. Paddy suddenly realises what’s happening and points at Will.
‘You’re back!’
‘I am,’ says Will.
Yasmin looks at me, her eyes sparkling. She’s never doubted that this would be the case. I guess in comparison to her own woes, she felt this was just two people ironing out creases, as opposed to the red sock in the ruined white-wash mess that was her own life. Plus, she always saw our threesome through other eyes, like it was something she coveted.
‘Good to have you back on the block, young man,’ Paddy replies. He comes over and gives Will a forceful hug, ending with patting him quite hard on the back. They disappear into our flats to retrieve glasses and such so we can partake in this mini Christmas piss-up in the corridor.
‘You’re here?’ I ask Yasmin.
‘I actually came with presents. I got something for my “fake son” and also for you as a thank you for everything. You sent me a text this morning. I should have replied.’ She hands over a gift bag.
‘And you’re OK? You’ve seen the wife’s Insta post?’ I ask.
‘It wasn’t what I thought I’d be waking up to on Christmas day, but it certainly led to an epiphany. I’ve been waiting a whole year for him to leave her. And all that time, it wasn’t just me. There were other people involved. He’s done poorly by us all and that’s not the sort of man I want fathering my child.’
‘I met his wife the other day, locally and quite by chance. I may have pushed that along…’
‘Geez, for a quiet one in school, you’re quite some social butterfly now.’
I shrug jokingly.
‘I’m moving back with my parents for a bit, but yeah, I’m going to have a baby. And none of my mates have babies so you’re kind of stuck with me now.’
We make an unlikely pair. I’m about a foot shorter than her and I feel a foot wider but hell, let’s see if this works. Though if she does one of those naked pregnant photo shoots where it looks like she’s swallowed a basketball then the deal is off.
‘Your present is inside. It’s a tub of Tangfastics,’ I say. ‘It was that or a parenting manual.’
‘They come with manuals?’
‘Apparently. I didn’t read a single one. You can also just wing it and they still come out half normal.’
We glance over at Joe, hoping he didn’t hear that in his sleep. Paddy emerges with some more mugs and Will with a wireless speaker blasting out some Dean Martin, doing that clicky finger move that anyone does when swing music starts playing.
‘Would the lady like a dance?’ Paddy asks Yasmin. As she’s so tall, Yasmin gives Paddy an underarm twirl like she’s taking the lead. Joe’s eyes spring open and Will unbuckles him from his car seat and picks him up. We prop him up between us and he wipes a drooly hand on Will’s cheek. I’m not sure either of us expected we’d be ending our first Christmas like this but here we are, huddling in our corridor, swaying gently to keep us warm.
‘I had a thought over lunch. Do you think you could batter a Christmas pudding?’ Will says suddenly.
‘And deep fry it?’
‘Well, yeah?’
‘Thiswas all you thought about at my parents’ house?’
‘I also thought about how many times I’ve seen you in that maxi dress now and I’ve not even seen you that much in the last few months.’
‘Says he, king of the checked shirt.’
‘I’ll give you that. Are those trainers new?’
‘Courtesy of my bezzie mate.’ I look over at Yasmin. In all of this, she also provided distraction, companionship, some way to perceive everything differently.
‘Is she OK?’
‘I think so.’
