Page 46 of Did My Love Life Shrink in the Wash?
‘That rapper thing was cool. I saw that on your Insta.’
‘Bit surreal.’
‘Seems like Will’s got into the swing of things too, eh?’
‘He has?’
‘He was out the other night with that friend of his I met once, Jason?’
My mind goes blank. He never mentioned it? I’ve seen less and less of Will since that video shoot. He’s had long hours at the office and he creeps home past midnight; the only way I can tell is by feeling his weight balancing out the mattress.
‘Are you sure it was him?’
Sean gets out his phone and scrolls through Instagram, finding a picture of Will in a bar. It’s half his face but that is him. It was the day he went back to the office after the video shoot. The day I was promised noodles. Seriously? Sean reads my shock immediately.
‘You two OK?’ Sean asks.
‘Just…he probably said something and I forgot. Classic baby brain.’ I’m unsure why I feel the need to cover for Will but the staff room doesn’t feel like the place to air my worries.
‘That or the fact that we’re old now,’ Sean says, almost in disgust. For him, the ascent into our thirties meant we needed to start booking cruises and taking up relaxing pastimes like lawn bowls.
‘We’re not old. Thirty isn’t old anymore. Look at Tony. He’s like in his fifties,’ I say.
‘Fifty-seven; there was a cake in the summer term.’
‘I missed cake?’
‘Baked by Jackie in Drama so you didn’t miss much. You’re OK, though? Yeah?’
I don’t know how to answer this. He doesn’t need to hear about my sore boobs, fatigue, feelings of severe imposter syndrome – and Will possibly lying to me about nights out. He just wants his mate back. He wants someone to sit and have coffee and staff room gossip with. We used to sit on this sofa and have a moan about teenagers, quote lines from films and plan big nights out. He even countersigned my passport.
‘Getting there. So how’s your love life?’ I ask.
Sean’s love life is the stuff of legend and I miss his dating tales most of all. Living at home with his parents (and having no shame about that) means he pulls girls in clubs, brings them home and has no problem when the next morning his mum emerges at their bedside with a cooked breakfast.
‘I went on Tinder. Didn’t know what to write about myself.Sean, 30, likes food and films and cats. The animals, not the musical.’
‘And I bet you got…zero swipes?’ He puts a thumbs up at me. ‘What about Connie from PE, she seems nice?’ I say.
‘She uses a lot of highlighters. Very well organised. I’m not sure we’d be the best match. She only eats meat on Tuesdays and Thursdays so you know what that would mean.’
I laugh. I do miss him but I don’t know how to tell him that.
‘We should go out soon?’ I tell him.
‘God yes…like I want to get totally bladdered. What are you up to at the weekend?’
‘I mean…lunch? Coffee? I don’t drink too much these days or survive nights out.’
‘Oh yeah, sure.’ I can’t tell if he’s disappointed.
‘Oh, and I’m having a party in a few weeks. Lucy and Emma wanted to throw something for my birthday. It was supposed to be some civil dinner party but you know Lucy, it’s evolved into something bigger. Come along, bring some people? It’s fancy dress.’
‘I’m so there, mate,’ he says, animatedly giving me some strange fist bump. Joe still keeps looking over at him.I don’t think I know who you are. So here, have a hand that I’ve been sucking on and let me cover your sleeve with drool.Sean wipes awkwardly at the snail-like trails.
‘Yikes. Here, hold him for a second while I get some muslins out.’
I hand Joe over and Sean holds him aloft like a cartoon monkey would a lion cub over the savannah. Joe seems to enjoy the aerial view. However, if Sean doesn’t know how he feels about babies, the next noise to come out of Joe is not going to help matters. That sound is part of my everyday now. It’s like a drain emptying its contents. Sean’s eyes open widely.That was a human sound?I stare at Joe.
