Page 59 of Did My Love Life Shrink in the Wash?
Lucy realises what she may have done. ‘I may have nicked your phone and sent an invite to all your contacts.’
I give Lucy a highly confused face. All sorts of people are on my contacts. My doctor’s surgery, my hairdresser, our aunty Melanie. Was she there too? She’s seventy-eight. Maybe she was the one who came in the banana suit.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t know you were here,’ I say.
‘It’s fine. I had fun. It’s not a party without a raging fight in my opinion. I’m just here because I dropped some keys here last night. I swear I put them down on a coffee table. Sorry to bother you.’
Emma stands up with Joe and goes to a dresser where she retrieves them from a drawer. I peer over and it also contains a wig, a mask and what looks like a Doc Martens boot.
‘Yes, I have those,’ Emma says, handing her the keys.
‘Thanks. Gemma?’
‘Emma.’
She surveys the house and I am immediately glad we had the party here instead of my garden flat. ‘I guess I’ll see you at that shoot,’ she says.
I nod. She waves to everyone in the room and makes her escape. I throw a cushion at Lucy.
‘I can’t believe you. What must she have thought when she got that text? She must think I’m a loon.’
‘I think she was the one in the mask. And if my mate is right, she and someone dressed as Boba Fett possibly did the fandango in Ems’ downstairs bathroom.’
Ems’ face curls up knowing she’ll have to do an extra-deep clean on every surface later.
‘And who’s Todd?’
My face reads horror.
‘Todd Michaels? He’s my mechanic. He services our Suzuki.’
‘Well, he was here and he can service me whenever he wants.’
My mother play slaps Lucy while Emma puts protective earmuffs over Joe’s ears.
‘How are you so awful?’ my mother asks her. ‘It’s like I raised you in a barn. Where are your standards?’
‘So you’re saying shagging a mechanic is beneath me? How terribly classist of you, Mother,’ Lucy retorts.
‘That is not what I meant. I mean at least get to know his last name before you spread your legs for him.’
‘MUM!’ shouts Emma, who looks like she may need to disinfect her ears.
Lordy, they’re still at it. What will they throw at each other now? Please don’t use the baby. I stand up and start to put things into Joe’s changing bag. My mother stops to look at me.
‘What are you doing?’ she asks.
‘I’m going home. I need to find out where Will is.’
‘Then let us come with you?’ Emma says.
‘You were throwing stuff at each other last night. If either of you come with me, you’ll lash out all your anger on Will and I don’t need you scaring him off.’
‘Then what about me?’ my mum asks despondently.
‘Mum, two Christmases ago, you broke Simon’s nose.’
Oh, how we cheered. Still.
