Page 64 of Did My Love Life Shrink in the Wash?
He gives me a weak salute and then walks away. I take the box inside, confused and rest it on the coffee table.
‘Well, are you going to open it then?’ asks a voice. I turn to Grace and then the box. Inside: a ham and pineapple pizza, the toppings spelling out the greeting ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY B’ along with some interestingly placed olives. I let out a small yelp of excitement.
‘The man in the shop thought I was mad.Yes, I’m ringing from Vietnam and yes, I’ll give you an extra fiver if you can spell out “Happy Birthday” with toppings and stick a candle in the box. And no, her name isn’t Bev.’
It sits there in all its cheese-topped glory. It’s perfect. She knew. It’s so perfect that the tears start to roll down my cheeks. Joe watches and sticks his bottom lip out.
‘Oh, love, don’t…is this about Will? Please stop crying or I’ll cry too.’
‘Who told you?’ I ask her.
‘Luce. She told me to call, that I was far away enough to be reasonable.’
‘That’s true. The others are on the verge of warpath.’
‘Standard?’ she replies. She tries to study my face through the pixels. ‘This is very strange Will behaviour though, right? This doesn’t feel like him.’
Grace, Tom, Will and I were quite the double couple situation back in the day so possibly out of all the sisters, she knows him best.
‘He kissed someone. Someone else,’ I say, my voice cracking. Grace’s eyes widen. Lucy was right. Her being there mitigates any risk of harming him in the flesh. ‘Don’t tell the others, promise me you won’t. I’m telling you because I need to tell someone.’
‘Because Lucy would cut off his bollocks and turn them into earrings,’ Grace tells me.
‘Which is why I don’t need her anger making things worse. He says it was a one-time thing. I’m just trying to work out what it means.’
‘It means he’s a dick.’
‘Or that he’s made a mistake?’
‘Saying two plus two equals five is a mistake. Who is she?’
‘Someone he works with. I’ve been checking out her profile, she’s really pretty and smart.’
‘Stop that. And what else is going on there?’ she asks knowingly.
‘We’ve just drifted apart. He needs space. He’s stressed at work.’
‘Please don’t make excuses for him.’
‘I’m not. Do you know what he got me for my birthday? A gift card. Except I think it might have been a present his brother gave him that he repurposed.’
‘Oh,’ she says, sharing in my disappointment. ‘For how much?’
‘Twenty pounds. M&S.’
‘That’s a meal deal and a decent bra. No knickers though.’
I laugh, using my sleeve to wipe away at the snot.
‘He’s really hurt me, Grace.’ She looks heartbroken that she can’t be here to hold me, embrace me. ‘And I can’t believe he’s not here.’
‘Except he is. I mean, it could be worse, he could be dead.’
She chuckles but closes her eyes and turns to the sky to breathe in the night air. It seems like we’re at the point of her grief where she can try and joke about it now. That’s progress, I guess. Studying her face, I know she’s right, but I don’t know how to reply. Tom’s death always felt like this huge catastrophic event and no words or action from me would be of any worth in piecing her heart back together.
‘He’s really hurt you. He’s betrayed your trust. Process that first. Be angry with him. Get all that emotion out, all the tears, all the sadness. Then work out the other stuff,’ she tells me.
‘All the other stuff is so muddled though. We’re both exhausted. Things are just not how they used to be…’
