Page 91 of Did My Love Life Shrink in the Wash?
I hug him and hand him one of Joe’s muslins to wipe his face. These muslins arereallyuseful.
A whole new identity, a brand new life, just like that. Our Gracie, with daughters.
‘She wanted to be sure. I found out in Amsterdam. Their names are Maya and Cleo, they’re three and one, and man, they are cute as hell.’ She gets out her phone and shows me a picture of them sitting on Grace’s lap. It’s the best picture I’ve ever seen. The girls are laughing, pure joy on their faces, and Grace looks relaxed, happy.
Dad studies it for ages, his bottom lip trembling. ‘I’m going to have eight grandchildren,’ he says, confused. ‘How?’
‘She’ll tell you the story when she gets back. It’s lovely.’
‘Does she need anything?’ Dad asks.
‘She just wants to do things on her own for the moment. I offered, but she said to just tell you two so you can help prepare Mum. This will be a shock and Grace doesn’t want drama, so you have to help, Dad. Rein her in a bit.’
Dad looks like it might be an unfathomable task.
Lucy turns to me. ‘And she wanted you to know because you’re chill. Plus she needs baby things and you have all the baby stuff.’
‘I have a shop’s worth,’ I say, smiling broadly. ‘Oh, Luce. She’s a mum?’ Tears roll down my cheeks too. She’s going to be an amazing mother. I have new nieces. And for a split second the first person I want to tell is Will. He loved Grace and her husband, Tom. When Tom passed away it broke his heart. The news would mean the world to him.
‘Why are you all crying?’ asks Violet, skipping over. She instinctively goes to Dad first and hugs him, embedding herself in his fluffy beard.
‘I’ve just heard some really lovely news, that’s all.’
‘But Pops, you never cry.’
She’s right. However stressed, angry or sad he may have been while we were growing up, I never saw tears. I wonder if he shed them elsewhere. This makes me cry even more. Violet gives me a strange look, probably because I’m an ugly crier. I snot like a SodaStream.
‘I thought you were crying because that woman over there told Lucy to stick something up her bum?’ Violet says.
We look over at the woman glaring at us from the sandpit. It’s not the face of a happy woman.
‘I hope you gave her what for, Luce,’ Dad says.
‘Of course. I told her to stick it up her own arse, she might like it.’
Dad closes his eyes. ‘Another phrase you learned from your mother?’
Lucy roars with laughter. ‘I didn’t think you and Mum were into that?’
‘Only on Wednesdays,’ Dad replies.
I crease over in laughter as Lucy sits there and, for once, has no words. Nothing.
Track Twenty
‘Songbird’ – Oasis (2002)
‘Is that a bra? Or an actual top?’ I ask Lucy. I scan her outfit from the giant puffer coat to the skinny ripped jeans. ‘I swear we used to have crop tops like that when we were little. Mum bought them in multipacks and we all shared.’
‘And I stuffed mine with socks. Remember that kid who lived down our road, Mitchell? I kissed him in his garden when I was twelve. He felt my boobs, one of the socks fell out and he cried. He’d thought he’d squeezed too hard.’
I sit on the Tube in hysterics as a man opposite us watches closely.How are these two people related?he seems to be thinking.
‘It’s Calvin Klein. There’s an overlay thing,’ Lucy replies.
‘That’s completely see-through.’
‘Prudey Judy.’
