Page 24 of Am I Allergic to Men?
‘Hi! We’re mates of Lucy’s. I live with her. I’m Cass. Your sister down the way told us to come on in.’
Cass is busty and brunette and her companion has boy-band curtains and holds a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Curtains made a comeback too?
‘I’m Darren. Lucy? Hi, how are you feeling?’
Christ, I have no idea who they are. I study them both. I can’t quite tell if his chinos and Converse with the white socks are a complete fashion fail or if that has also come around again. He has tears in his eyes.Did I break your heart? Or are you in shock at my appearance?It’s a trackies and vest thing with no bra. It’s a look.
‘I bought you mochi. I had no idea what to bring and I thought, Lucy likes mochi,’ Cass spurts out, with a bag in her hands. ‘Like, nice ones from a Japanese bakery. Maybe I should have brought doughnuts but I just didn’t know what to bring.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, turning to Meg.
‘You have no idea who we are, do you?’ Darren says, studying my eyes.
‘I’m really sorry. Did we go to university together or something?’
Cass looks a bit taken aback but Darren smiles. ‘We all worked together, gravitated towards each other as mates. We went on holiday several years ago to Ibiza.’
‘I’ve been to Ibiza?’ I enquire.
‘If anything you are well remembered in Ibiza. We went on a yoga retreat and got kicked out because you laughed through all the sound baths and then got your revenge by stealing one of their goats.’
‘What did I do with the goat?’ I ask.
‘You called him Greg. We sold him to a family in town who I suspect ate him but hey…’
‘That’s awful,’ I reply.
‘It wasn’t one of your best ideas…’
I smile at him, trying to work out if there’s a thing here. Cass clings onto him, almost scared.
‘We’re sorry too. We were there that day. We should have made sure you got to that job safely or done things differently. We were still at the venue, someone told us there was an accident on the bridge. Someone dressed up as Elsa on a bike. And then Darren realised it was you. He ran. He actually ran across that bridge when he realised…’
‘You were the one who called Beth…’ Meg suddenly realises who they are.
Darren nods his head, obviously taken back by the memory of it all, and grabs my hand.
‘I can’t believe you got on a bike, you silly tosser…’ he says.
It’d be nice to say it feels familiar or there is some cosmic connection here but it just feels like a hand, a hand that cares at least.
‘Oh, we’ve also got you a gift from the Dickweasel… He’s our boss, of sorts,’ Cass explains, reaching into her handbag and pulling out a gift and an envelope. ‘And the day of the accident, you did a party for a girl called Ophelia. She wrote you a card and sent it to the agency. I may have had a read and a cry. I’ll leave that here…’
I study both of them again, hoping some recollection of who they are may return to me. Nothing. ‘I’m sorry I can’t…’
‘It’s fine,’ Darren explains. ‘You’re alive. That’s what matters.’
‘Do I live with both of you?’ I ask.
‘Just me,’ Cass says. ‘And six other people. It’s a bit of a commune vibe, truth be told, which is why your sisters weren’t sure if it was the right thing for you to come back straight away.’
I nod. It was agreed yesterday that I would soon be discharged but I couldn’t go back to a house that was unfamiliar. In that sense, I need to return to the only place I know, 25 Elm Road, the house I grew up in.
‘I packed your stuff for you and dropped it off this morning. And Pussy, too. I don’t think your mum was expecting Pussy.’
‘Pussy?’ I ask awkwardly, blushing to hear her talk so frankly.
‘She’s your cat. She’s a cat you adopted…’ Cass shows me a picture on her magic phone. It’s of me in bed, kissing the top of a ginger cat’s head except the cat doesn’t look best pleased by this. She looks quite pissed off by the physical contact. ‘I mean… come back when the time is right. That house isn’t the same without you. And any time you need either of us then you know where we are, yeah?’ She bends down to hug me and I hug back. She really has quite the rack, there’s some cushioning in that hug.
