Page 61 of Am I Allergic to Men?
TLC are playing again. Why are there so many lights? Why can I taste sambuca? I’m in very high heels. No carpet.
‘I don’t know where I am…’ I mumble.
‘Slow down. Breathe. Don’t panic. Listen to my voice.’
‘I have boobs.’
In my memory. I have boobs because I feel them bobbing up and down as I dance. I’m not using socks to stuff my bra any more.
‘I’m happy. I think I’m happy. Josh can cock off though.’
I can’t tell if my hypnotherapist is laughing. Why am I telling Josh to cock off? I’m in that nightclub. Am I remembering this? Or just recreating it in my mind? I don’t trust this feeling.
‘Who can you see?’
‘My sisters. I’m still dancing.’
‘Why are you dancing?’
‘It’s my birthday.’
‘What date is your birthday?’
‘9th February,’ I mumble.
There is silence as I say that. That’s not my birthday. My birthday is in August, in the summer so I’m always the baby. Why did I say the 9th of February? Whose birthday is the 9th of February? I run through all the sisters. No one is born around then.
‘I… No… That’s not my birthday…’
‘What is that date, 9th February?’
‘I’m happy…’ I whisper. ‘I’m really happy…’
‘Why, Lucy?’
‘Oscar.’
And just like that, I open my eyes and sit up. Like I’ve been underwater or had one of those strange dreams where I’ve been falling. Crikey. That was a fricking trip. What did you put in that tea, Cosmo? I sit there and just look around the room. He senses my shock and puts a hand to my shoulder.
‘Are you OK, Lucy?’
‘I said a name…’
‘Oscar.’
‘Did I say who he was?’
‘No. You didn’t.’
Damn. ‘How did you do that?’ I ask, staring him in the eye. You’re going to take my brain now, aren’t you? What strange mind magic was that?
‘I didn’t do anything… That was all you…’
I feel a little bad I doubted him. I mean, I still want to drugs test the tea though. I remembered something. Oscar. Seriously, who the hell is this dude?
‘All me? Really? Then we’re doing it again…’ I say, lying down and closing my eyes immediately.
‘Errr… all right then… just give me a moment. I need to crack a window open…’
