Page 95 of Am I Allergic to Men?
‘So you really never want kids?’ Meg asks me. ‘You don’t think you’ll change your mind?’
‘Gracie adopted so I have options. I’ll just steal one of yours if I really have to… I’ve known for a while that I don’t want the norm. I may meet the love of my life one day, it could be a man or a woman or anyone, but I know I just want to keep living and moving and not being stuck in some everyday like you boring spanners…’
They all roll their eyes at the same time. If the eye-rolling was a synchronised event in the Olympics that moment could have scored high, medal-winning points.Oh, Lucy. She’s back in the room, isn’t she?And against all their better judgement, they love the bones of me. I know they all do, it’s why they’re all here.You left your kids with husbands and our parents to see me discharged from hospital and watch me meet my biological baby. I’d die for the lot of you. My best bitches.
‘So what’s the plan now?’ Beth asks as we stroll along past City Hall, through the crowds gawping up at the London Eye. It’s a big Ferris wheel, people, move along.
‘Food? There’s a Wahaca up there?’ Grace suggests.
‘We could go on a big rager? I am out of hospital and recovered. I could call Darren and Cass and make this a big night?’
‘No,’ Meg says politely.
‘You’re not allowed alcohol for two more weeks,’ Emma warns me. I stick my tongue out at her.
‘I was kinda joking,’ I tell her.
‘We never know, Lucy.’
‘I was actually talking about what now for Lucy, after today, next week? Is there a plan?’ Beth adds.
‘I’ve been asked to do a party next week. Cass and Hayley have bought me a new Elsa wig. Just hope I can remember the sodding words to all the songs. Apart from that, nothing. I plan to eat all of Mum and Dad’s food and for Pussy and I to annoy Mum as much as we can.’
‘Please can you give your cat another name?’ Grace asks. ‘One of my girls drew your cat the other day in her schoolbook and labelled it Aunty Lucy’s Pussy.’
‘And that is the joy of my Pussy. I’m so glad you got to meet her. Isn’t she the best?’
‘I’ve never met a more disagreeable creature in my life,’ Emma says, she who was once married to Satan himself.
‘That’s all me. I trained her to be like that.’
Meg is laughing. That’s also the most perfect sound.
‘But to answer your original question… I don’t know, Bethy. See where the tide takes me next.’
We keep walking, taking in the sights of kids running up and down the pavements of Jubilee Gardens and the street performers and mime artists that line the way. I dive into Grace’s handbag and throw them all her loose change. Just before we get to the British Film Institute and the space underneath inhabited by booksellers, I pause and look up. Waterloo Bridge.Hey there. I feel like you and me know each other now. I crashed into you, my blood is part of your fabric now.It feels like bumping into an old flame that burnt me quite badly and ran me over on the way out. I break away from the sisters and look out over the railings into the river. Beth and Grace stop in their tracks and join me, Grace’s arm going around my shoulder. Meg and Emma come into the huddle. I don’t think it’s emotion that’s caught me or even some philosophical moment where I’m thinking about the meaning of life. But I just feel lucky. I am so lucky to be standing here.
‘They sent me a bill for that bike, you know… because I didn’t return it. Three hundred fucking pounds.’
‘What?’ Emma asks angrily.
‘Dad paid it. I remember coming off that bike and flying and you know the first thing I thought? I mean, I swore like hell but I also thought about all of you. You four.’
Meg’s nostrils are trembling again, setting herself up for the cry.
‘I thought that this was all happening because Grace didn’t teach me how to ride a bike properly…’
Grace pouts with tears in her eyes.
‘But I thought how shit that I’ll never get to see you sisters again.’
We all stand there, overlooking the river, to take in that revelation. It’s always been us five and for all I forgot in the last decade that is what remained. Ten years of life, like being inside a pressure cooker with everything having been thrown at us for good measure. It’s transformed us as women, as mothers, as daughters, wives, widows and sisters, and still we stand, we remain, we’re here, different evolving versions of ourselves and still moving, still growing, still together. I’m really glad we’re still together.
‘Nah, just joking. Didn’t give you girls a second thought. All I thought was I should have bloody walked.’
Beth punches my arm while Meg shakes her head at me, laughing.
‘Here…’ I say, reaching into my pocket and getting my phone out. ‘Find a space, we’ll send this to Mum.’ I angle my arm out in front of me and all the sisters get into view of my phone screen, trying to work out their angles and the amount of teeth they should be showing. I gurn quite attractively. Pure cheese.
