Page 47 of Am I Allergic to Men?
I break into hysterics. Am I turned on here? I could be. But that panic sits in my soul again, especially as I know my dad is outside this pub doing his sudoku.
‘How much sex did we have?’
‘Do I give this to you in exact amounts or…?’ he says, waving his fingers around.
I snigger. ‘I think I’m just trying to work out the sort of person I was, the sex I was having, with who? The last decade or so sounds…’
‘Eventful?’
I nod. ‘When I left for university, I’d just broken up with a boyfriend who, in my mind, when I woke up I was still with. And now I’m being told I went to university and became a bit of a…’
‘Don’t say the word…’
‘Was I?’ I ask him.
‘Lucy, we had some pretty hot sex. You were experimental, you didn’t have any hang-ups about yourself, you were just good fun. We laughed so much. We both once streaked naked through a Tube, for a bet. I’m not sure if I’m still allowed to ride the Circle Line.’
My hands cover my mouth and he looks surprised. I guess old Lucy wouldn’t be so embarrassed at that revelation, she’d bask in how outrageous it is, but I’m still getting used to this girl’s gall, her courage.
‘Luce, when I met you, you were so bright but in so many ways. We didn’t just get drunk and shag. We talked about books and politics. Your eyes would light up at the novelty of everything. You were so keen and ready to go out in the world and just explore the infinite possibility that lay at your feet. That fearlessness to throw yourself into anything and everything was what made me love you.’
‘You loved me?’ I gasp, almost in shock.
‘I think we loved each other. Maybe not in a romantic sunset kinda way, I don’t think either of us believed in that, but enough for me to jump on a plane when you ask me out for a drink.’
What is confusing to me is, somewhere down the line, I obviously stopped looking for my sunsets. When did I come to all these life conclusions?
‘When my dad died, you came to the funeral. You sat at the back of the church and afterwards you got me drunk and slept on my sofa for three days to check I was all right. So just in case you thought all we did was get naked together.’
He grabs my hand and, for this small moment, it’s everything. To think I had a wonderful soul like this who was my friend.Can I take you back to Mum and Dad’s? They like you. It’d be a break from the board games.
‘I like the new look, by the way. It’s very Sigourney Weaver inAlien.’
‘At last, a cultural reference I get.’
‘It’s badass.’
‘But cold.’
He reaches a hand, stroking the blonde fuzz on my head.
‘Thank you for being here. For coming all this way to have a drink with a mate.’
‘No blowjob?’ he jokes, laughing.
I want to say maybe but hell, this is a moment I don’t think I want to spoil. Let’s get drunk first.But it’s lovely to meet you, Tony. I’m so very glad you’re here.
‘While we’re here… Did you know anyone called Oscar? He’s a name that’s appeared on my phone and I have no idea who he is.’
He shakes his head, with a look that says, with the number of people we obviously had relations with, it could indeed be anyone.
‘But look, we know the same people so I’ll give you some numbers of people to call, chat to. Start with Jill, Jill Rigby.’
I narrow my eyes at him, asking him to let on but he doesn’t. ‘That’s her story to tell you,’ he replies, a cheeky glint in his eye.
But before I have a chance to delve, two people standing by our table get our attention. Both are here to watch the football and are clearly a few pints in. Tony eyes them curiously.
‘Nah, mate. You ask them…’ They’re obviously in on some sort of shared joke that neither I nor Tony understand.
