Page 13 of How Much Wine Will Fix My Broken Heart?
‘Oh, give over, you cow. Details, now!’ Beth commands.
I look at all their expectant faces. ‘Don’t judge me. He’s a school-gate dad. He’s just come out of a divorce and we are basically…’ I quieten my voice in case Cleo is still lurking. ‘Sex friends.’
Lucy seems to be overly excited by that revelation. Beth is laughing but Meg and Emma look a tad more concerned.
‘What’s that now?’ Emma asks.
‘Gracie’s got a fuck buddy,’ Lucy explains.
‘Nooo. It’s more grown-up than that. It’s a very nice arrangement.’
‘I bet,’ Beth says.
‘He doesn’t want commitment, neither do I. It’s just two adults pleasuring each other.’
Lucy is in fits of giggles now, which sets Beth off. I phrased that wrong, didn’t I? It sounds like we sit together on the edge of a bed giving each other hand jobs.
‘But with a school-gate dad?’ Meg asks worriedly. ‘That’s next-level politics there. That could go very wrong if his ex-wife finds out. It’s shitting where you eat.’
‘If you’re into the sort of thing,’ Lucy adds.
Meg rolls her eyes. ‘Just tread carefully. All it takes is Cleo to say something and then it’ll backfire. Is he at least any good?’
Emma throws her hands up in the air, not keen on the direction the conversation is going.
‘It is what it is.’
Beth looks confused. ‘Glowing review there. I guess if you’re happy?’
I nod, unconvincingly. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do to display my levels of sexual satisfaction. Lucy would give us a play-by-play; I’d learn about the actual shape of his bell-end, which is not me at all. But then I also understand my arrangement with Sam. I care for him deeply, but to entertain anything beyond that isn’t very wise given what he’s just been through.
Lucy studies my face through the screen. ‘I think it’s cool. It’s called sexual independence. She’s getting what she wants and she understands the line. Unless you’re shagging him because you feel sorry for him. He looks like he has a dad bod.’
Emma looks shocked at the thought.
I shake my head. ‘How do you know what he…?’
‘I’ve found him on social media,’ Lucy announces. ‘Sam Headley. He’s on her friends list. His profile picture is him with a pumpkin; tell him he needs to update that. It’s January.’
I see all the other sisters scramble about on their devices to stalk him. Bitches. Meg cocks her head to one side.
‘He looks like a lumberjack,’ Emma mumbles.
‘Because he has a beard?’ I ask.
‘Strong 7,’ Lucy adds. ‘Big hands. Can I ask about the—’
‘Strong 7,’ I reply, knowing what she’s about to say. ‘Bigger than the glimpse of what I just saw on that screen.’
It’s Emma’s turn to laugh now.
‘Piss off, he’s a grower,’ Lucy replies.
‘Well, let us know how that goes, Gracie,’ Meg says.
I sense all of their collective gazes on me. The sisters have been protective since Tom passed. They mourned with me, they worried and huddled around me, but they were wise and kind enough to never tell me I needed to move on. They let me swim in my grief and held out their hands to stop me falling adrift. They knew however I moved on would be done on my own terms but I see hope in all their faces. They want me to transition and find the next Tom. The truth is, I’m glad for the company, but the idea of love, finding real Tom love again, is not on my radar. In truth, it terrifies me.
‘Any other news to report?’ Meg asks.
