Page 16 of How Much Wine Will Fix My Broken Heart?
‘Who are you?’ A small person suddenly emerges from behind me like an elf. I jump out of my seat. It’s Isaac, Cleo’s best friend at school, Helen’s son, who should be next door watchingMoana. I hope he didn’t hear that bit about me dropping tabs at the weekend. He cranes his neck to study Doug’s face.
‘Why is it daytime there? Are you at work? Is he your husband?’ he asks. I try to unpack what Isaac just said. I don’t mind this kid. I like that he widens Cleo’s friendship groups beyond the girls and their preoccupations with unicorns but he uses his entire right sleeve as a handkerchief. It literally flakes with how crusty it is.
‘Hello. I’m Doug,’ he says, waving through the screen.
‘Doug, this is Isaac, one of Cleo’s mates from school. Doug is in New York.’
‘REALLY? Can you see the Statue of Liberty from where you are?’ he asks. ‘Is he a lawyer? He looks like a lawyer?’
Doug sits there trying to deal with the words per minute. In the meanwhile, Cleo skulks into my room, having realised she’s let her puppy escape.
‘I’m not a lawyer. Grace and I are just friends from university.’
‘Hi, Uncle Doug!’ Cleo says, waving through the screen.
‘Hey, Cleo. So, you have a boyfriend now?’ he asks.
Cleo’s face drops, aghast. ‘Isaac is a friend. Girls and boys can be friends, you know?’ I think there was almost an eye-roll there. I chuckle under my breath, widening my eyes at Doug.
‘And where is Maya?’
‘Next door withMoana.’
‘The actual Moana?’
Cleo giggles. ‘No, silly. She’s watching the film with her friend, Jess, from school.’
Jess. Very sweet unassuming Jess, who I’m not even sure Maya likes but it was a way to try and push Maya into being a bit more sociable with people her own age instead of chatting to the birds in our garden.
‘What’s it like in New York?’ Isaac asks, as he and Cleo commandeer my office chair to take control of this call.
‘Well, I was here when the Avengers came and saved us all from those aliens. That was scary.’
‘Yeah… that never happened,’ Isaac says, unimpressed.
They’re a tough crowd, Doug. You’ll have to try harder.
‘Cleo’s mum, can we change the filter on this so I look like I’m floating in space?’ Isaac asks.
‘I’d rather you didn’t… I also said you can call me Grace if you want?’
‘Grace rhymes with space, race and face. Can I call you Grace Face?’
Doug tries to stifle his giggles.
‘I’d rather you didn’t…’ I reply.
‘Are you going to have hot dogs for lunch?’ he asks, returning to Doug. ‘You can get good hot dogs in New York.’
‘No. I was going to have a sandwich. You should ask Grace Face about hot dogs. Actually, ask Grace about New York. She had an amazing time when she visited me here.’
I shake my head at him.
‘You’ve been to New York?’ Isaac asks, like it’s impossible someone as dull as me could have ever gone anywhere so cool.
‘I did,’ I say. ‘And it’s an awful, awful place.’
‘How so?’ Cleo asks.
