Page 44 of How Much Wine Will Fix My Broken Heart?
‘Now that’s a book I’d read.’
11
Tom, I got a job today. A real proper job with the financial branch of an international law firm based in Southwark, I literally just got the call. They’re a huge outfit and the perks of the job are amazing: gym, medical, even free bloody breakfasts. Is it strange that you were one of the first people I needed to tell? I haven’t even told my mum, none of the sisters. Maybe it was just to prove to you that there was a reason I stayed behind to study and work, a reason we broke up. I now have a chance to build something in London that’s very real and secure and it’s exciting. I know that won’t excite you as much but I needed to tell you. I think sometimes you think I’m just swimming along here, doing nothing exciting or real, but it all leads to something, somewhere.
Gx
There is some semblance of a routine that I like to keep in my life and that is my morning swim. I like the routine, the clarity of the water, I enjoy pushing off from the sides and pretending I’m taking part in a hundred-metre breaststroke dash for a Commonwealth Gold. It’s not a fancy endeavour, it’s a simple pay-as-you-go affair at the local university. I swim next to students and older lecturers, and, in the pool next to us, mothers dunk their babies in and out, singing songs about ducks. We all shower together afterwards and I never fail to marvel at that one woman who strips completely naked and has the time to condition her hair separately.
Today is slightly different, though. Meg leaves tonight so has booked me into the lido instead as a farewell treat. I love this lido though have never been posh enough to be a patron. It reminds me of the ones in London with the small wooden huts for changing, a throwback to a time when people would swim in striped bathers and wear boater hats. The outdoors element takes bravery in the winter but on an early spring day like this, the sunlight dancing on the turquoise water has its appeal. Plus, we get robes, which to me is the height of luxury. Anyway, while I swim, Meg and Linh will descend on the poolside restaurant for a spot of posh brunch and to hold my towel. I see them now at a table and they give me a wave as I approach a hut to get ready. They have mimosas, don’t they? Jammy cows. I push at a door and realise someone is in there.
‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ The person turns swiftly and eyeballs me as the door seems to have hit them in the arse. Oh. Seriously? It’s Orlagh. Sam’s Orlagh. This is not pleasant. Do I say something? I’m shagging your ex-husband? Given you saw us out together then you might have an inkling that’s happening anyway. She looks me up and down. She’s wearing full make-up to swim, isn’t she? Her swimsuit is designer with navy and white nautical stripes; mine is Speedo. Our priorities are just in different boxes.
‘I didn’t know you swam here?’ she says.
The comment has territorial tones. ‘I’m just here for the day.’
‘Oh. Well, I swim here most days.’
‘Great. Enjoy.’
I’m not really sure what she expects. I’ll stay out of her lane. She knows, doesn’t she? And I get the feeling she’s not particularly happy about it. This is frosty, which makes me glad for the heated pool. I slink into a vacant cubicle and pull my phone out of my rucksack.
How’s breakfast? Look out into the pool, can you see a woman in a stripey swimsuit?I text Meg.
Linh is not sure avocado is a breakfast food but it’s all good. Tres posh. Aye to the lady in the swimsuit, do we know her?
I’m sleeping with her ex-husband.
Oh.
Is this weird?
No. Just keep out of her way. If she tries to drown you then I’ll throw you a life ring.
Nice.
I put my phone away and retrieve my hat from my bag, stretching it out over my head and tucking the errant hairs away. Maybe I should text Sam? But why? Just because we’ve slept with the same man, it doesn’t mean we can’t swim in the same pool. I sneak my head out the door. Orlagh’s doing a very elegant backstroke arm. Her eyes give me a quick glance and she carries on. I go to the other end of the pool and creep my body in slowly. Twenty laps and I can go have a fancy coffee.
It’s a very quiet morning at the pool except for another man with tight trunks and a furry chest. I push off the edge, doing my classic breaststroke, head bobbing in and out of the water, but suddenly notice Orlagh’s presence next to me. Where did she come from? She’s appeared out of nowhere like a seal. Why does she keep looking over? Oh. She wants to race? Really? I pick up the pace reluctantly. I’m not sure how this must look but it’s basically two mums racing, neither of them professional swimmers so it must be like tracking a couple of polar bears treading water. I very well might give myself a stitch from the overexertion. Then suddenly, a leg out of nowhere kicks me on the hip. I go under the water for a second, not realising how close she’d been to me. I gather myself and grab at the side in front of me where she stands. Whatever gets you through the day, Orlagh.
‘Sorry, did we make contact?’ she says. I note the condescension in her tone.
‘Yeah, we did.’
‘After you?’ she offers, putting out her hand to tell me to keep swimming.
So you can kick me again? ‘I’m all right.’ I sidestep to create some distance between us but she shifts closer to me.
‘There’s three of us in the pool. Maybe if you could move further to your right?’ I suggest.
‘But then I’ll get in the way of Bob,’ she says, nodding over to furry chest. I like how they’re on a first-name basis.
‘I don’t seem to have your pace. If you swim, I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to catch up with you.’
It pays to let her win this contest rather than this strange swimming gala situation where I’m going to have to increase my work rate and possibly bust a lung. She puts her goggles on and side-eyes me before setting off, spraying my face with water. I look over at Meg, who makes a gesture that I should slap her.
‘I’ve not seen you here before?’ a voice suddenly pipes in.
