Page 78 of How Much Wine Will Fix My Broken Heart?
‘I’m checking to feel if you’ve regained a decent core temperature.’
‘The best way to do that is to stick a thermometer up my arse. If you can get through the four layers of leggings you put on me.’
I spoon her from behind. It’s like hugging a giant fleece bear. She grabs my arm and pulls it around her.
‘Where is lover boy? Did you give him a cheeky blowie downstairs to say thank you?’ she says. I elbow her in the back but I doubt she actually feels anything.
‘With the house full? No. Actually, I think we may have broken up.’
Lucy flumps over like a giant marshmallow to face me.
‘Shit, really? Was that because I trashed his car upholstery? I can pay to have that valeted and shampooed. I’m sorry, Gracie…’
I don’t know whether to eke this out a little. I could have a lot of fun with Lucy’s guilt and get her to do some chores for me in the morning to earn her penance. But, deep down, I know she just cares.
‘It was very civilised. We make better friends, what we had just…’
‘Filled a hole?’
‘Or two?’
She guffaws and I put a hand over her mouth to shut her up. She gives me a huge hug and I embrace her tightly back.
‘Are you sad?’ she says, her head resting on my shoulder.
‘Nah, how can I be with you as my sister?’
‘That is obviously the best way to answer that question.’
‘Go to sleep now. We have to be up early,’ I say.
‘But why?’ she moans.
‘We have to fling you back in the bath so Isaac will still think you’re a mermaid.’
She giggles. I pull a bit of duvet over me and close my eyes, her arms still around me.
‘Do you still kick?’ I ask.
‘You know I do… Grace Face. You know that’s a thing now, right?’ she mumbles softly.
‘It isn’t. It really isn’t.’
18
For my life, Gracie. New York is MENTAL. And do you know what’s most mental about it? It has zoos. In the plural. Like, it’s this enormo city busting at the seams but, hell, we NEED ZOOS. Let’s throw some penguins and a fucking lion in the middle of this metropolis. I went to the Bronx Zoo today with Doug. We walked around with giant pretzels as big as our faces. I’ve decided I like a zoo. I know you don’t because you say the animals look sad and should be roaming free on savannahs doing their Circle of Life thing but have you seen kids at zoos? They’re so fricking happy. Like properly enchanted. It’s contagious. There was this three-year-old today who saw a gorilla and he lost his shit. My wish is to always be that excited about life.
I enclose a Bronx Zoo lemur fridge magnet with this note. I chose it because his tail is at a strange angle so it looks like his wang. I hope you love it. I hope you still love me.
T x
EVERYONE is here. And when I say everyone, it does feel like the whole of my address book and Facebook contacts list is in Bristol descending on this memorial that will happen tomorrow.
What do we wear? Is there anything I can do? I’m ovo-vegan in case there is food. I miss Tom. I’m so glad to be in town. How close are we to London again?Can I see Big Ben from here?
The texts roll in thick and fast. I reply to all of them with smiley emojis and just hope they can work these things out for themselves. I am not one hundred per cent sure how I feel about this whole thing yet. I teetered on indifference when it was first touted to me but now I just want it done with. In the same way you feel about a birthday as you go further into your thirties maybe. Let us all come together and then put everyone back in their corners of the world.
Today, in an attempt to try and entertain the masses closest to me, I’ve decided to take advantage of my zoo membership and drag everyone out to see some penguins so we can ooh and aah over them instead of thinking about tomorrow. I’ve also dragged my whole family here, mainly so they can spend some time out of their Airbnb where things are starting to unravel. I say unravel, it’s mostly Mum doling out plenty of asides referencing Emma’s quickie wedding. She’s also perpetually worried that all the tiny people are going to wreck the joint so she won’t get her deposit back, and totally underestimated the scale of catering necessary so is producing lasagnes the size of football pitches every night. That’s a lot of béchamel. So it’s fresh air and animals for all today and also a chance to welcome a few more visitors to the party. One of whom stands by the entrance, the same way he’s always stood since we were students, hands in pockets, looking completely lost.
