Page 22 of Big Nick Energy
‘Shouldn’t that be out…’ I point out into the main party, recognising it from before.
Jasper is doubled over laughing. ‘Oh, it got sidelined because…’ He goes into the shadows to wheel out the trolley it’s resting on and I look at it curiously, flinching slightly as luges remind me of university nights filled with dentist chairs and continuous shots. The difference is that this one is shaped as Father Christmas.
Jasper still can’t stop chortling. ‘So I don’t quite know who designed this but look…’ He grabs a bottle of Grey Goose underneath the trolley and pours it into the back of Father Christmas, the stream of vodka then emerging from his mouth.
‘That’s…’ I mutter.
‘Because that’s what we all want to see – Father Christmas vomming out vodka,’ Jasper chuckles.
I cock my head curiously to watch while Maggie angles herself under the stream to catch a bit in her mouth, Leo filmingher as she swallows her shot then stands up, both arms in the air in celebration.
Leo peers at his phone in hysterics. ‘This video looks like you’re into some very festive kink, wifey.’
‘When I saw it out there, they had shot glasses,’ I say. ‘Or I guess you could snog him to get your vodka? It might look less dubious,’ I suggest.
‘The lady has spoken!’ Jasper says, raucously. ‘Come on, Kay with the good hair, that’s one way to get over one Nick, snog another.’
And I giggle at the thought but they all start to clap and cheer me on and maybe it’s the negroni or the ice-cold feeling of date failure in my veins but I jump down off that table. Why the hell not? I reach into my clutch and grab my phone. ‘Maggie, right? If I’m doing this, I want a video too.’
‘Of course…’ she says obligingly.
I go up to the trolley with the luge. Santa is conveniently at eye level with me and I beam at him. Alright, Nick? I can’t stop giggling. Merry Christmas. Maggie puts her thumb up and I go in to catch the falling vodka emerging from Santa’s lips. Crikey, that’s cold. I hear Jasper in hysterics as I put my hand to Santa’s arse, for video purposes of course. I close my eyes for the authenticity.
‘Excuse me, I was wondering if you’d seen a lady… she’s wearing a green jumpsuit…’
My eyes ping open as I hear the voice at the end of the corridor and I try to back away from the ice sculpture but feel a tug on my bottom lip that makes me flinch. What the actual? I side eye Leo who runs over to Nick, realising who it might be. Maggie stops filming but looks up at Jasper who doesn’t know whether to laugh or run away.
‘I’m stuck,’ I say in muffled tones. I put my hands on Santa’s chest trying to extricate myself from the ice as Jasper covers his face.
‘Oh shit, we’re so going to get fired for this,’ Frank says, trying to help me.
I look further down the corridor past the melee of waiters and bottle fridges to see Nick engaging in conversation with Leo. He hasn’t seen me yet, thank God.
Jasper follows my gaze. ‘Shit, is that the date?’ he asks. ‘He’s fit. I know him, new guy on the fifth floor.’
‘Yeah… but… I…’ I say, gesturing at my immediate situation. I was snogging and now am stuck to an ice sculpture. Could I lose a lip? I am half-laughing, half-mortified.
‘Jasper,’ Maggie says, clicking her fingers to get his attention. ‘Let’s wheel her around the corner. You good to walk with me, help me push it?’ she asks. I’m not sure I have much of a choice, but we wheel ourselves as slowly and carefully as possible into the shadows of a little alcove out of sight.
‘I think we did see her. She was looking for you but then went home when she couldn’t find you. Sorry, mate…’ We all go silent, listening to Leo cover for me. Given he doesn’t really know me, he’s doing an excellent job. ‘She was pretty upset.’
‘Crap. I just got caught up with one of the senior execs and then…’ I listen to Nick carefully from the shadows. ‘She didn’t deserve that.’
‘No, I guess not. Maybe a text might help? Or a big gesture to get back in her good books, eh?’
‘Perhaps. Thanks. Leo, isn’t it? Head of IT?’
‘Yeah. Nick, right? From the fifth floor?’
‘Yeah. I should get back and show my face.’
I stand there for a moment, listening, pondering. At least he acknowledged that this evening may not have been great for me. At least it wasn’t a complete abandonment. I hear his footstepspad away. I’m still trying to remove my lip from this ice when Frank reappears with a small glass full of water. ‘It’s room temperature. Physics dictates that it should… work…’ He tips a little onto my lip and, as if by magic, my lip flips back to my mouth, slightly cold and swollen but attached to my face. I had had visions of the fire brigade being called that weren’t great.
‘Oh my… you are a genius,’ I say to Frank as he looks at me with relief that this wasn’t a complete disaster.
‘Are you alright?’ Maggie asks me, putting an arm to my back.
‘I’m mortified but crisis averted, eh? Did you get a video?’ I ask her.
