Page 92 of Big Nick Energy
‘No, you’re not,’ I smile.
‘What was his name?’ he asks me.
‘Funny you should ask…’
EPILOGUE
ONE YEAR LATER
‘Hold up, there weretwoNicks? You conveniently left that bit out of your story! Were you sleeping with both of them at the same time? This is the sort of detail I wanted to hear,’ my agent Davinia says, her hat the size of a small satellite dish. I reckon we could pick up Sky sports and movies with that thing.
‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘I’m not marrying the one from university. God, please don’t bring that up if you talk to him. This is another one,’ I say, laughing.
Davinia looks into space trying to work it all out. When the New Year happened, all she knew was that there was a Nick in my life, a very special Nick who made me desks and who inspired me to believe in my writing. The bear books I wrote after that were some of my best work, she said, and those books helped me secure my merch deal which means you can now buy all my bear characters as cuddly toys. The panda is my favourite but don’t mention it to the other bears.
‘I guess the only thing you need to know is that I’m marrying one of them today. The right one,’ I tell her cheekily.
She looks me up and down and exhales a wonderfully long, satisfied sigh before coming in for another hug. ‘You are a marvel. It’s my honour to be here. I will see you on thedancefloor later,’ she promises, winking. ‘Love you,’ she says before scurrying out of the room.
I don’t usually tell that story anymore. The one about the short festive time in my life where I dated all the Nicks. Mainly out of love and sincerity to the Nick that did win my heart. But I often think back to that heady month when the universe threw both of those men in my direction and how that story didn’t really end, it just gave me a new chapter, a story that continues to thrive and blossom more than I had ever hoped. How every day, I do feel raised up in the best possible way.
‘You should have told her the bit where you got stuck in the Christmas-tree machine,’ a voice behind me says. I turn to see Lucy holding a glorious bouquet of amaryllis and roses. ‘Because really, if it wasn’t for me then none of this would have happened. I am the cosmic glue that held this all together and told you that going back to old Nick was a terribly bad idea.’ I glance over at Lucy, always stunning in any situation but today she’s wearing a fur wrap and black tea dress, her hair pulled back, ready to take on this day with me. I don’t think I’d want any other bridesmaid by my side. She pulls out a little flask of brandy which proves me right.
‘I’d like to say this is for Dutch courage but it’s mostly to keep you warm. You’re absolute nutters to get married in the winter, you really are.’
‘But it links in to how we met, right?’ I say.
‘Possibly. But I’ve had to rub Deep Heat into my toes so I don’t get frostbite. That’s not sexy.’
‘It is to me.’
Lucy cackles wildly. ‘You gorgeous thing. Look, I have to get buttonholes to the men and corral the little flower girls. Little Sofia is a dynamo, no? But stay here, I’ll leave you my flask, yes?’
I nod as she trots away on her heels and I head over to sit in the rocking chair in the corner of this room, next to a logfire blazing in a burner. Quite interestingly, this is the room in which I met Nick. We chose this venue because obviously there was no other place to exchange vows than on this farm, down an aisle lined with Christmas trees. The party will happen in a hotel down the road but for now, we have nearly every fairy light in South London hanging off every branch, chair and trellis to make this ceremony glow.
I take a deep breath. It’s been one of those mornings dashing around with hair and make-up and people, like Davinia, have been popping back here to say hello and give me their best wishes. Helen made me a sandwich, Olga is in fur-lined boots. My parents have flown in. It’s overwhelming in the best possible way. My phone pings and a message pops up.
I believe it’s today. Have a magnificent day, Kay Redman. From the Other Nick xx
I smile, because that’s how that Nick signs off these days when he gets in touch, and, despite any reservations I may have had eight years ago when we first split up, lo and behold, it would seem that Old Nick and I can remain friends.
After our dalliance, he did his best to get over Neve and went to live in Singapore. I don’t think there’s anyone else in his life but there seems to be evidence in his pictures of him enjoying life and taking advantage of the excellent and cheap tailoring they have over there. And it makes me happy that we were able to move on, that he seems reasonably content with his life, that whatever we had between us helped that process. I send him a heart back and close my eyes for a second to steady myself.
A sudden knock on the door interrupts the peace and I stand up, turning to face it. ‘Come in.’
‘I can’t,’ says Nick’s voice, and I smile at his superstitions on today of all days. The Nick North I know is scared of nothing.
I go over to the door and stand next to it. ‘What’s up?’
‘I needed a breather. My mother is trying to feed me. She tucked a napkin in my shirt. There’s a woman out here dousing me in hairspray. It’s a bit of a circus out there. I hope you know the family you’re marrying into. There are cousins out here that I’ve never seen in my life.’
I smile through the door. That family I’m marrying into is everything. I put a hand to the door.
‘Shouldn’t you be out there welcoming them all?’ I ask him.
‘Yeah, but I needed a moment of calm. You’re my calm.’
He still has a way with words that makes me melt. I rest my head next to the door and open it a little, putting my hand out. ‘Close your eyes. Take my hand.’
