Page 23 of The Rakehell's Seduction
“If we were to start, we might never stop…and I shouldn’t want to—not with you,” Alex confessed in a whisper. They were standing so close he could feel the heat of her, and he hated that they weren’t somewhere he could secrete her away and kiss her in the way they wanted.
“Am I so wicked, Alex?” His voice sounded a little deep and throaty, and her eyes darkened. He couldn’t help but continue. “Do you see me as a phantom who would steal into your bed after darkness falls and ravish you?” The mere idea had his body hardening with arousal. She was staring at him hungrily, as though she was picturing the same thing he was.
“You are wicked indeed,” she replied breathlessly, “because I would be tempted to leave the door unlocked…”
Leave the door unlocked? Was that an invitation? Good God. The short distance between them was charged with such tension that he was afraid if either of them moved, it would create sparks. In that moment, nothing existed outside of being with Alex. They were in their own secluded world, filled with heated breaths and promises glinting in their eyes and at the corners of their smiles.
“Alex, love!” her father’s voice boomed, making Ambrose jump. Lord Rockford was striding toward them, beaming.
“I just heard that your cousin Rachel will be joining us for supper tonight. She brought the children. I thought you might be glad to see them.” Rockford was grinning, and it was clear that Rockford adored children. He had no grandbabies, and once Alex’s reputation lay in tatters on the altar of society’s gossipers, she might never find a husband, at least not a good one. And knowing Alex, she would rather embrace spinsterhood than settle for a man she didn’t love.
And I’m the bloody bastard who will shatter those dreams when I ruin her.
He had no choice. Some man was going to get Alex and destroy her, and better that it be a man who cared about her than one who didn’t. But that didn’t erase the heavy weight on his chest at the thought of being responsible for this. He would ruin two lives, Alex’s and Rockford’s.
“I should get home and see that the cook knows to prepare extra places for supper,” Alex said, her smile infectious as she glanced between Ambrose and her father.
“Good idea. I’d come home with you, but Mrs. Darby has enlisted me in a croquet match. Damned if I know how to tell that woman no to anything,” Rockford chuckled. “So that brings me to a request, Ambrose. Would you mind escorting my daughter home?” Rockford asked.
“Of course, it would be my pleasure.” Ambrose was relieved and excited at the idea of catching a few minutes alone with Alex, but he didn’t look her way lest he betray his thoughts or his excitement in front of her father.
“Let me make my excuses to Miss Darby, and then we shall leave.” Alex left to find their hostess, and Ambrose stood by Rockford.
“Miss Rockford has a cousin?” Ambrose asked.
The earl grinned. “Rachel. She and Alex are very close, almost like sisters. She is the daughter of my wife’s elder sister. Rachel married a nice gentleman from Sussex. They don’t visit often enough. You’ll like her husband. Mr. Brandon is a good man.”
“I look forward to making their acquaintance.” Ambrose meant it. He was curious to meet a woman Alex was close to aside from Perdita, although he wasn’t sure why exactly. But he wanted to know more about her, this beauty who hid herself away in the country.
Alex came back a moment later and looked at Ambrose. “I’m ready.”
She collected her shawl and her bonnet and looked eager to leave. Beyond her stood Vaughn, just at the edge of the croquet field, scowling slightly. He had to remain behind since he was officially a guest of the Darbys and not the Rockfords. Ambrose couldn’t help but flash him a smug smile, which made the other man turn his back and try to wave off the crowds of ladies around the tea tables.
Ambrose offered Alex his arm, and they walked away from Darby House and toward the Rockford estate.
“Today was rather wonderful.” Alex sighed dreamily. “It was quite perfect.”
“I have to agree. I was woken up far too early, had to dine on salty porridge, was lost in a cow field where I almost fell on my arse when I slipped in cow dung, and was soundly beaten at croquet by two ladies. Yes, absolutely splendid day.” He grinned at her cheekily. “Aside from that, everything else about today has been rather wonderful, especially kissing you senseless.” This time he let his tone turn husky as he spoke. He wanted her to remember every kiss as vividly as he did.
He thought of when he’d pleasured her in a secluded part of the gardens, making her moan his name, and how he’d wanted to lie there forever with her in the warm grass and listen to the hum of bees and the chatter of birds. And then when they’d played croquet and she’d made him laugh at her excitement over beating him soundly. He was usually competitive, but her winning fairly had him strangely full of quiet joy. There was something in the way her eyes had sparkled and her lips had curved into an honest smile.
“Although I’m still cross with you for sending me to a field of cows,” he added, chuckling.
“I couldn’t resist.” She bit her lip, but he saw how she was smiling. “I couldn’t let a known rake stay under my roof without attempting to drive you away. It’s what any decent lady would do.”
They entered the road and left the houses and picnic behind. It was a perfect moment for him to have her back in his arms, even for a brief moment, without the watchful eyes of Lothbrook’s matrons and gentlemen to see. Ambrose stopped them, and she turned to face him. “And now? Will you still try to push me away?” he asked.Please say no…It was fun to chase a woman who resisted, but he wanted no resistance from Alex, only mutual desire, because wanting to be with her was becoming less and less of a game to him every minute he spent with her.
“Now…” Her gaze was cloudy with confusion. “I won’t deny that while you frustrate me to no end, I like you…and I like what we did in the gardens.” This last was uttered in a blushing whisper.
“But…”
He could sense she was hesitating about something.
“What are we doing, Ambrose? This—the kisses, the gardens, and the rest?”
His eager smile faded as he knew what she was asking. There would be no proposal, no declarations of love, and she deserved that, yet he couldn’t give it to her. He was not a man to marry, no matter how tempting the thought of Alex was. He didn’t trust his heart to be loyal. He’d never been able to focus on just one woman, and he would not be a husband who left his wife’s bed. Better to not be a husband at all than to be disloyal.
“Alex, sweetheart, I don’t know.” He cupped her face, gazing deeply into her eyes. “I only know that right now, I’d go mad without kissing you.”
