Page 29 of The Gentleman's Seduction
Martin nodded. His stomach was still coiled in tight knots. “I bought her companionship, though now I believe there is little difference.”
“But…how?”
“It was the night we went to the Argyll Rooms. The girl’s father and I have a history, one of a personal nature and enmity on my part. I saw him losing, and I took advantage. In the end, he owed me a vast sum, far more than he could pay, and I went to his house, planning to toss him out. And then I saw her. She was lovely and brave and… She offered herself to me. I accepted. I took her home that night.”
“Good God, man!” Rodney’s face was red with anger. “Send her home!”
“I would, but…”I can’t. Martin drew in a breath. “If I do, I fear Stamford will show up on her father’s doorstep, demanding the same. I fear others will hear of it and seek similar satisfaction. What have I done?” He buried his face in his hands, pressing the heels of his hands so hard into his eyes that he saw stars.
“But you haven’t…?” Rodney cleared his throat.
“No. She has nothing to fear from me. If she wants me, all she needs to need to do is ask, but I won’t force her.”
His friend nodded. “Good. I’d call you out myself, friend or not, if you did something like that to any woman.”
“That’s because you’re a good man.” Martin said dryly. “Far better than me.”
“Well, I don’t know about that.” Rodney laughed before he grew serious again. “So tomorrow you duel Stamford. Where and when?”
“Littleton Field at dawn.”
“Then I’ll be there,” Rodney declared. “Do you plan to sleep here tonight?”
Martin nodded. He couldn’t imagine himself going home under these circumstances.
“Then get some rest and have someone look at that eye. It’s likely to swell and compromise your vision tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” Martin slapped Rodney’s shoulder as the other man rose from his chair and headed out. He would no doubt be going home to his wife and children, and for the first time Martin envied him. For a brief second he dared to imagine Livvy was at home, waiting up for him with a babe in the nursery and her smile ready and warm when she saw him.
That is a life you will never have. Certainly not with her.
The thought turned his heart cold, and he reached for the brandy. It would be his only companion on a cold night like this.
LIVVY STAREDat the clock on the mantel in her chambers. It was nearly midnight. She couldn’t sleep. Not after how she’d seen Martin hurt at her words. It was her fault she had driven him away. Mellie had said that he left for his club and would not be back tonight. The staff had been given orders to keep her in her room, but she had a suspicion none of them would enforce it. She tiptoed out of her chambers, wrapping the dressing gown tight around her to keep warm. Thankfully Martin’s townhouse wasn’t as drafty as her own home had become.
She reached his bedchambers. The door was unlocked, and she slipped inside. His valet was there, polishing a set of his boots. He startled when he saw her and blushed.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” She backed toward the door.
“It’s all right, miss. I’m finished. I usually take the boots downstairs, but with the master out…” The valet brushed the polishing rag over the tip of the boot, then put the boots in the armoire against the wall on the far corner.
“Thank you.” She leaned forward against the beautiful bed, watching the valet tidy up.
“Do you need anything, Miss Hartwell? Before I go?” he asked.
“Oh… No thank you.” She glanced toward the fireplace, which was beginning to run low. “Except perhaps more logs. I could feed the fire myself, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” The valet bowed. “I’ll have a footman bring some up shortly.”
After he left, she wandered about the room, examined the fine porcelain washing basin, the shaving razor, the sandalwood scent in a small bottle. She raised her nose and inhaled. The scent brought back memories,vividones of Martin holding her close, kissing her in a hard but pleasing way. She’d never imagined kisses could be so passionate, wonderful, frightening.
And I drove him away. Did it matter that he’d bought her? Shouldn’t it only matter what she felt? She felt good when he kissed her, good when their breaths mingled and their bodies pressed flush against one another. Maybe that was all that mattered.
Pride—herpride—shouldn’t matter, not anymore. The damage was done. She was no longer innocent by society’s standards. Shouldn’t she at least enjoy the sins she would be ruined for anyway?
She would risk falling for him, but perhaps that was inevitable. She was already drawn to him, and it was not simple carnal fascination, but something else. The haunted look in his eyes when he spoke of his family and the early death of his mother, the hints of the reluctant amusement in those mysterious blue eyes, the tenderness of his lips and hunger of his hands created an inseparable tangle of emotions for her. She could not view him as just one thing. He was not the cold and callous man she’d mentioned in speaking to Mellie. He was anything but that.
Livvy climbed into his large bed and stared into the depths of the dwindling fire, her mind lost in a chaotic swirl of thoughts.
