Page 26 of The Gentleman's Seduction
“Female troubles,” she said, hoping he would believe her. She placed her palm on her abdomen.
“Oh? Oh! Is there anything I can do?”
“No, I just need to lie down and rest.”
“I see. Very well, I’ll have your food sent up to you.” His fingertips dropped from her chin to her waist, and he gave her a gentle squeeze. “I confess I don’t know much about…” He blushed again. “But please, if there is anything… A hot bath, perhaps? Something I may do to help?”
“I promise, I’m well. I need to rest…Alone.”
She thought it was possible that he looked wounded at her response.
“Of course. Do whatever you need to be comfortable.” He let go and stepped back. Livvy felt the distance between them, a chasm that made her heart ache. But she welcomed such pain, if it kept her heart safe.
“Rest well. If you feel well enough, we may try to attend the fair later this afternoon.”
She nodded and left his study. By the time she reached her chamber, she felt numb and cold inside. Mellie helped her into a comfortable dressing gown so she could rest on the bed. A footman brought her food a short while later, but she barely ate. Mellie lingered by the armoire, hanging up her riding habit, her worried eyes drifting over to Livvy.
“Miss…are you all right?” she asked.
“I…” Livvy closed her eyes a moment and then met the maid’s gaze. “I’m afraid.”
Mellie the tilted her head slightly. “Afraid of what?”
“Of falling in love with him.” The maid closed the armoire and came over to perch on the edge of the bed.
“Why are you afraid of that?”
“Because…” She plucked the dark-blue fabric of the expensive dressing gown Martin had bought her. It was lovely, like everything in this house, like everything he’d bought for her.
“Because…?” Mellie prompted.
“He won’t care about me, not in the same way. I’m just a dalliance that he will turn out once he tires of me. I don’t want to love someone like that. Love is special. It has meaning. But what he feels for me will never be love.”
Mellie’s blue eyes glinted with amusement. “I think you might be wrong.”
“I’m not. You don’t know him, you don’t know how much he despises my father. That much hatred in his heart will erase any love he might ever have for me. I’m worried this is all temporary, that when he’s done with me he’ll turn cold and callous and—” She choked on the last word as she saw Martin standing in the doorway. From the look on his face, she could tell he’d heard every word.
“Martin—” She started to rise, but he turned and vanished from the doorway. She struggled to get off the bed, nearly tripping in her haste to wrap her dressing gown close, but she could not reach him in time. He slammed the door to his chambers, and she heard the lock bolt slide into place.
“Martin, please, let me explain,” she cried at the door. She heard no sound, no hint of breathing, no shuffle of boots. Simply silence, a sound so thick it threatened to smother her.
Two footmen lingered at the top of the stairs, watching her. She ducked her head and rushed back to her room, flinging herself onto her bed and burying her face in the pillows. Her heart was aching, and she could feel the sobs coming. Mellie patted her back gently before she left and Livvy heard the door to her bedroom close.
Livvy blinked away the tears, feeling them soak the pillow. She hadn’t meant for him to hear what she said. She wasn’t even sure if she meant any of it. He hadn’t been cold or callous, except that first night he brought her home. He’d been warm and comforting ever since.
If she’d hurt him, she would be the callous one. She knew that she didn’t have to feel guilty, but it didn’t change the fact that she did. He’d shown her kindness, and he hadn’t pushed her, hadn’t forced her to share his bed. He had let her be in control, and she’d repaid that with cruel words.
She stilled as she came to a realization.I want him. There’s no sense in fighting my own desires.
If she gave herself to him as she longed to do, love may possibly follow. She would have to take a chance. But how?
9
Martin waited a quarter of an hour before he slipped out of his bedroom and summoned his butler. Harris met him in the hallway, smiling.
“What are the plans for you and Miss Hartwell this evening? Raphael is most interested to try some new recipes.”
“I’m sorry, Harris, but you will have to tell Raphael I’ll be having my dinner out tonight. I’m going to stay at my club for dinner instead. I may not return this evening.”
