Page 48 of Never Kiss a Scot
“Tea’s ready.” Annis retrieved four plain white pottery cups and poured everyone tea. Brock and Joanna took their cups and sipped.
“So, Dougal, how is everything for the tenants? I hope to make some changes here soon.”
Dougal looked uncertainly at his wife. “Changes, my lord?”
Brock set his cup down on the table. “Yes, I want to raise the wages you are paid for labor, and I’d like to explore building better housing for everyone.”
Dougal blinked, and Annis’s eyes were suddenly overbright.
“I believe we’d like that, my lord.” Dougal’s smile grew broader again.
Brock felt suddenly bashful. After his father died, Brock enjoyed having the freedom to spend time among his tenants when he could, but he was aware that he would always be a laird to them. Bringing an English wife into their midst, he feared that they might be upset. But seeing Joanna’s easy and gentle nature with the tenants had filled him with hope. She wasn’t as distant with him now as she had been after they’d visited the stones. Coming here had been a good distraction from that upsetting conversation.
“Well, I promised I’d see my wife home for dinner. I’ll be back in a few days to discuss the particulars of my plans.”
Brock stood, and Joanna thanked Annis for the tea and waved to the children before she followed him outside. Her gaze swept over the other black houses, seeing thegille-wee-foots, the barefoot children running about while their parents toiled in the fields.
Joanna drew close to him after she mounted her horse. “Brock, those houses must be so cold in the winter. How do they stay warm?”
“Well, the houses are built on slopes, you see? And they keep cows at the bottom of the lower end of the homes on the back side where there is a partition. It makes it easy to remove waste, and the cows do provide some heat, because it warms the peat and the stones that make up the cottage walls.”
“But the kitchen was bare. What do they eat?” Joanna’s eyes were wide with concern.Lord, she does have a big heart.
“When times are thin, they can bleed the cattle. Not kill them, mind, but they can cut a flank or side and catch blood in bowls. It mixes well with oatmeal and milk to make cakes. Tastes terrible, but it does provide some nourishment.”
“Blood? Oh, Brock, there has to be a better way.”
“Scotland is a beautiful land, but she can also be harsh. We’ve learned how to survive any hardship. It has made us who we are. But as I told Mr. Ramsey, I’d like to explore better options. We must move with the times or risk those times leaving us behind.” That seemed to put Joanna’s mind at ease somewhat. Brock supposed this was as good a time as any to broach the subject of money. He cleared his throat. “In fact, that is something you and I must speak about.”
“What do you mean?” She studied him in the growing darkness.
“’Tis your money, lass. I wouldna command it to any purpose, not without your consent, no matter what your brother may have told you. I willna use you in that way. But if you did have a mind to help the estate, I would suggest you put your efforts toward helping the tenants first. The castle can wait.” He’d only hoped, desperately, that she would wish to use it herself to help his people.
“Oh…” She was quiet a long moment. “And if I do want to help them, we could?”
“Aye. Very much so. We can start with food, buying crops that they can grow, and then we can build new homes—proper sturdy cabins, not these black houses.”
“And the children? Can we buy them things too? Toys and proper shoes…” Joanna trailed off in embarrassment.
“We can,” he assured her. “So long as you wish to.”
They rode the rest of the way in silence, and when they reached the castle, they parted with their horses as the groom took them to the stables.
“We’ll also need more staff,” Joanna said quietly. “Could we arrange for that in the village? I also must post a letter to send for Julia, my maid.”
“Aye, we can go tomorrow. I suspect our larder needs filling as well. The kitchens looked bare.” He noticed that the cook hadn’t stocked it very well since he had left with his brothers for Bath. He gestured to the bottom of the stairs. “Why don’t you meet me here, and I’ll escort you to dinner in half an hour?”
“All right.”
He watched her ascend the stairs, and it made his chest ache. He wanted to give her everything she had ever dreamed of, and right now it must seem like he wanted her only for her money, despite all that he’d said. And all she wanted was his heart.
But he couldn’t give it to her. He didn’t trust himself to love. Perhaps he was like his father after all. It was possible that he was the villain for denying her the love she so desperately needed all because he was afraid. The thought filled him with dread and horror. His desire to protect himself had left him trapped and his own wife suffering—just like his mother.
I am like him. A monster.
Part of him reasoned that if Joanna didn’t have his love, she could always leave, return to her family and be safe. But if they fell in love and he turned cruel someday, she would not leave him. Her heart was too open, too trusting. The thing he admired most about her would seal her fate. The same fate as his mother—the fate he’d feared he would suffer.
His shoulders drooped as he ascended the stairs and entered the western wing of the castle. He stopped in front of his mother’s room. It had been locked ever since her death. It was only after his father had died that he, Brodie, and Aiden had found the key and seen their mother’s chamber for the first time in years.
