Page 91 of Never Tempt a Scot
“How did it happen?” Portia asked. “How did you fall in love with him?” The interest in her little sister’s eyes was unexpected. “It’s just ... I keep hoping to fall in love. I was so certain that if I willed it in my head, my heart would follow. It’s been frustrating to find that I cannot do that. I thought I could make Brodie love me if he but stayed with me awhile, if he but kissed me ...” Her sister’s tone was tinged with desperation and confusion, enough so that much of Lydia’s anger at her sister’s foolish actions eased.
“You cannot make love out of nothing. It cannot be forced or willed into being,” Lydia replied softly. “It comes on slowly, without one noticing. And when you do realize it, the feeling hits you like lightning. When I first saw Brodie at the ball, I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever seen, but I knew he was not meant for the likes of me. It was only after he took me north that things changed. Our anger with each other softened, and little by little as we got to know each other, I eventually realized I was in love with him.”
She looked at her sister. “Love is not a splendid, wondrous thing, dear sister. It is a broken heart, a wrenching sob, a collection of dreams fading before your eyes. Pray that you never know love, Portia. I would not wish this fate upon anyone.”
Her own words caused such pain that she could not stand to sit there and pretend to be fine, even amongst her family and friends.
Lydia rose from the settee and left the drawing room for her bedchamber. She threw herself onto the bed, unable to stop the sobs that came. She jolted as something grazed against her arm. She lifted her head and saw Aiden’s pine marten watching her. It nuzzled her arm, and she reached out hesitantly to touch it, and it rubbed its cheek against her fingers.
A quiet exhaustion stole through Lydia as she lay there. She could feel her hopes and dreams fading into dust as the sunlight gave way to shadows outside.
When Jane,Joanna, Rosalind, and Regina finally reached Castle Kincade, the women were quite mad with fear, particularly Jane, who knew that a duel was very possible.
“Jackson!” Jane called out for her husband as she and the others rushed into the hall.
“Here, my love!” Jackson stepped out of a nearby room, and she all but flung herself at him.
“Are you hurt? Tell me it didn’t come to a duel?”
“No and no, my darling. Rest easy. Lydia is safe, and Portia too.”
“Portia? I thought she was in Brighton with your aunt?”
“She was,” Jackson sighed. “She ran away and came here to try to rescue Lydia herself.”
“Oh, good heavens.” Jane glanced about. “But if you didn’t duel with Mr. Kincade, then where is he?”
“Gone. He said he had no honor to defend, took a horse from the stables, and rode away. He hasn’t returned since.”
At this point, Rosalind spoke up. “My brother said he had no honor?”
“Yes. It quite puzzles me, but that’s what he said.”
Rosalind and Joanna exchanged glances.
“Where is Lydia?” Jane asked.
“Upstairs in her room. She was quite upset. I didn’t wish to bother her.”
“Oh dear, we had better go.” As one, the four women headed up the grand staircase. A maid in the hallway indicated which room Lydia was staying in, and Jane knocked lightly on the door.
“Lydia? May we come in?”
There was a moment of silence before the door opened. Lydia peered at them with puffy red eyes. She had been crying. Jane’s heart broke for the girl.
“Oh, sweetheart, come here.” She took Lydia into her arms and held her close. She had wanted to be a mother to this young woman for so long, and now she was. She only hoped she could earn Lydia’s trust now. Jane let the girl cry as she gently coaxed her to sit on the bed. Rosalind, Regina, and Joanna stepped outside to give them privacy.
“I’m so sorry, Lady Rochester. I mean, Mrs. Hunt. Heavens, I don’t even know what to call you.” Lydia sniffled and wiped her eyes with a handkerchief.
“It’s all right. You may call me Jane, or even Mama, if you like.”
Lydia managed a watery smile. “I’ve always thought of you like a mother whenever I spent time with you and Lysandra.”
Jane brushed a lock of hair back from Lydia’s face. “I remember what it feels like to have a broken heart. Even all these years later, it’s not something one forgets.”
Lydia lifted her teary gaze to Jane’s. “How did you know that I love him?”
Jane nodded. “I couldn’t imagine you would be crying right now for any other reason.”
