Page 110 of Wicked Designs
“Mittens and Muff?”
Horatia’s lips twitched. “That’s what Audrey named them. She was only ten years old, and got them for Christmas as a pair. She received new mittens and a mufffrom Cedric, so naturally she just named the cats the same thing.”
Audrey tilted her chin up. “I was a child, Horatia! You make me sound so insipid!”
Emily patted Audrey’s hand. “I think they are darling names.”
Horatia grinned. “While you are here, we’ll keep you entertained so much that you won’t have time to miss Penelope.”
Somehow Emily didn’t doubt that.
The gentlemen,freshly changed and far more sociable, invaded the parlor soon after the women finished talking. Even Jonathan, though rather shy at being an active part in such a social gathering, seemed to enjoy himself as he and Charles engaged Audrey in conversation.
Only two people seemed out of sorts—Lucien and, oddly, Horatia. Lucien stood in the corner of the room near Cedric and Ashton, but his gaze kept sliding back towards Horatia, who did her best to ignore him.
At first Emily assumed Lucien had an amorous interest in Horatia, but the cold, imperious glances from Lucien received shameful blushes from Horatia. Something had happened between them, and Emily couldn’t even begin to guess what. Before she contemplated the matter further, however, Godric stole up on her from behind.
“May I speak to you in private?” he whispered in herear. He put a guiding hand on her lower back, and the pair slipped out of the room unnoticed. Godric led her to the drawing room a few doors down.
“Emily, we are to be married tomorrow.” Godric announced this without so much as a romantic preamble, as though it were a contract that only required her handshake at this point. Emily stared at him. Did he really just expect her to say yes? She loved him, but she wouldn’t just agree because he’d declared it. It was that very commanding, dominating attitude she hated, whether it came from her uncle, Blankenship or Godric.
“No.”
“Wonderf—wait.” Godric gripped her by the shoulders, looming over her, his presence more dominating than ever. “What do you mean, no?”
“No. I won’t marry you.” It made little sense to her heart, but her head reminded her that she could not simply agree because he’d declared it. She needed to be allowed the choice to say no.
“But you love me, Emily. What more is there for you to want?”
Emily drew a deep breath. “Godric, have you learned nothing about me at all since we met? I need my freedom, the ability to control my own life. I cannot agree to marry you simply because you decree it.”
“This isn’t about your freedom, it’s about your safety.”
Emily looked away. “I understand that you think so. But know this, I don’t have to marry you. I could find a willing bridegroom who would ignore the scandalyou’ve created and take me to wife. I would rather marry a desperate fortune hunter than you, if it was the only way I could have control in my life.” It stung her soul to say it, but she meant it. There was something terrifying about the prospect of marrying a man she loved, knowing he didn’t love her back, simply because he was trying to do the noble thing. It would only result in unhappiness for them both. She couldn’t have it.
“You really don’t wish to marry me?” He jerked back as though her words had struck him like a sword. His grip loosened, and then he dropped his hands, severing the connection between them. The loss of his touch chilled her.
“It is not a matter of wishing. I want to marry you, I do, but I won’t, not at the cost of my freedom.”
Godric turned away from her, a tic working his jaw.
“And you think some fortune hunter will allow you that freedom?”
“You would have me live by your terms at your whim. Any man I choose will have to agree that he’ll let me be and live my life as I choose after we’re married. Which would you choose?”
Emily put a hand on his shoulder from behind. He flinched and jerked away, spinning back around to face her.
“Why would you do me this great hurt? Why?” he asked, voice thick with emotion, eyes blazing.
“Because.” Emily’s throat constricted, burning with the pain of those awful words, but they were true. “Because you will tire of me and I can’t bear to thinkabout losing you. If I don’t marry you, you will never be mine to lose.”
“But you must marry me! You aren’t safe if you aren’t tied to me by marriage.” Mere moments took him from rage, to bargaining.
“Precisely. You only wish to marry me to secure my safety. You are a true gentleman in all the ways that matter, Godric, but I can’t let you suffer binding yourself to me when it will make us both unhappy in the future.”
“We would be happy—”
“For a time. But it isn’t enough. I need to be loved. I could stand to be married to a man who didn’t love me if I didn’t love him. But I love you and it would break my heart to not be loved back.” Emily couldn’t believe she was holding up so bravely. That she hadn’t collapsed in grief.
