Page 15 of Heart in Waiting
“Sweetheart,” he said in a slow drawl, “I’d like nothing more.” His eyes glazed over with a mix of heat, desire, and purpose. “God, I’ve wanted you for so long.” His groan echoed through the room. “But this might not be the right time to explore all those possibilities.”
Her heart beat hard inside her chest. She’d desired him, or maybe she’d just wanted to feel something other than fear. Reese had never considered he might feel something real for her. A part of her wanted to explore the possibility of a relationship—to see if she was worthy of another’s love; however, it also terrified her. What if she didn’t measure up to what the person he thought she was? Dane had wanted her? Not just earlier, but much longer than that? Why hadn’t he ever asked her out or led her to believe he did? There were so many questions floating through her mind, but only one mattered at the moment. “When would be the right time? After were both dead and don’t have the choice anymore?”
That had the equivalent of dosing a flame with a bucket of water. The heat that had been brewing between them died a fast death. Why had she opened her mouth and killed the opportunity of having what she wanted, and oh, did she want him. She hadn’t realized it before—hadn’t really considered him in any capacity. Her mother’s influence had been too strong for her to look at anyone she hadn’t suggested. Reese wished she hadn’t allowed that to guide her actions, but she couldn’t go back to change it.
She couldn’t believe he’d always been there, yet she never really saw him until this moment. He was sexy and gorgeous, but that was only the exterior. Dane had always been kind and almost gentle with her. He’d chosen a career that showed he was brave and that he wanted to help people. Not once since she’d known him had he given her any indication he’d turn into an evil sociopath like Nolan. Though she probably shouldn’t use that to measure any man’s potential as a lover or life mate.
He ran his fingers through his dark hair. Then he took the cap off the bottle and took a long swing of it. He replaced the top back and then threw the bottle against the wall. It shattered, spilling the amber liquid down the wall and dripped down into a puddle on the floor. She’d jerked back, surprised by his actions.
“You’re always—always—on my mind.” He turned to meet her gaze. “Nothing I do will make you go away. You’re the one person I’ve always wanted and never thought I could have. But you don’t want me, and you never have. This is all a game to you. For a moment, I let myself forget that, and I thought maybe, just maybe, you actually saw me.”
“I do...”
“No,” he interrupted her. “You don’t see anyone but yourself, and I’m starting to wonder what I ever saw in you. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and once upon a time, you were kind to me. Now though, you’ve turned into a selfish bitch. I’m here and convenient, so why not use me?”
She had been thinking that at first. Reese felt like a first-rate ass... “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” What else could she say? She’d made a mistake, and she always owned up to her stupidity.
“It doesn’t matter.” He swore under his breath. “This is as much my fault as it is yours. It won’t happen again.”
The sad thing was now that she’d fumbled through the mess she realized shedidwant him for more than one night. She wanted to know him—the real him. What was he like when he wasn’t the brooding detective? Did he love as hard as he worked, and would he ever look at her like he had a few moments ago ever again? She wished she could take back the last few minutes and redo it. Why did she keep screwing everything up?
“I...” She swallowed hard. “I don’t know what to say.”
“There is nothing to say. I think perhaps we’re past the talking part anyway. Go to bed, and we’ll forget this ever happened.”
“Do you think that’s possible?” She wanted to, but she’d never be able to erase the look of dejection on his face. “I’d like us to be friends.” She wanted more, but she’d settle on that to start with.
“Friends,” he said sardonically and shook his head. “Yeah, I guess we can be that. Probably all we should ever be anyway.” Dane gestured toward the broken glass. “I’ll clean that up. I’m sorry I lost my temper it won’t happen again. I will keep my mind where it belongs—protecting you and nothing more.”
She nodded. “I’m going to bed as you suggested.” Reese didn’t know what else to say. The night had taken a turn for the worse, and it was all her fault. She was a world-class jerk, and maybe in the morning she’d be able to make it up to him. The rawness of it all was still too fresh for them to get past it at the moment. Some scars couldn’t be erased, and Reese’s were buried deep. She hoped Dane’s weren’t equally profound; otherwise, there would be no repairing the damage...
