Page 26 of Heart in Waiting
CHAPTER TWELVE
Dane parked the carand then rubbed his palms over his pant legs. He didn’t know why he was still so nervous, but he couldn’t shake it. In a lot of ways, this was like turning back the clock ten years and reliving his prom. The difference was this time he had a date, and not just any date. Reese had been the girl he wanted then and still desired now. It was crazy thinking that someone like him could get the girl when, in the past, he hadn’t had a chance. No wonder he kept going back and forth in his mind. He kept seeing himself as unworthy, and in the eyes of the students of Shelton Academy, he had been scum. To them, he’d never been good enough, and he’d believed it for too long. His emotions were a roller coaster of chaos, and he didn’t know which direction they’d take from one moment to next.
“Are you ready?”
“If you are,” she replied. “You kind of look like you’re about to face a firing squad.”
He’d taken a bullet to the heart the moment he met her. She’d been so far out of his league he never imagined he’d be able to have a conversation with her, let alone take her out on a date. Going inside that room with her by his side would be acknowledging he was not only worthy or her, but that she considered him her equal. Why was that so hard for him to accept? The circumstances of his birth shouldn’t determine his worth, yet it had for far too long.
Shaking that preconceived notion had been a burden since the moment he realized people looked at him differently. Even after all his successes and making detective, he still felt the sting of their prejudices. If his father wasn’t a first-rate asshole, he might not be in the situation he found himself in every day. Then again, if his father was a different man, he might never have been born. A bigger double-edged sword had never existed than that one. It was a situation of him being damned if he did and completely fucked if he didn’t. Winning wasn’t an option open to him, and he’d become too comfortable sitting on the losing side. His father’s choices had seen to that.
“I’m fine,” he reassured her. “I’ve never wanted anything more than to attend this thing with you.” To prove his point, he stepped out of the car and went to open her door for her. “My lady.” He held out his hand to her. “The ball awaits.”
She laughed and placed her hand in his. “Then by all means escort me inside.
Reese looped her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder. Actions like that might make him start believing in the impossible. Was it any surprise he had started to think he had a chance with her? The kiss had helped him a thousand times over, and this intimacy would push him over the edge. She made loving her easier with each passing breath.
They entered the Roseland hotel, and a million memories accosted him. He hadn’t been back at the hotel since his prom over a decade ago. There had been no reason to, so why bother? He’d had one reason for going there then, and it was the same one he had now. Reese had been his reason for everything for so long. She’d made him want to be a better person and strive to accomplish his goals. For so many years, he hadn’t thought himself worthy of more than the crappy life he’d been given. Reese had taken the time to be kind to him when he’d needed it most.
That one action had changed him irrevocably. Because of her, he’d worked his way through college, became a cop, and then went on to be a detective. She might not realize it, but her action had given him courage where he’d lacked it. Maybe he’d have done it all anyway; nonetheless, she’d still been his catalyst. One act of kindheartedness had made him believe in compassion and that there was some good in the world.
“Do you remember the prom?” she asked.
“My senior prom?” He wanted to make sure they were thinking of the same one.
“Yes,” she replied. “You were scrawnier then.”
Not the impression he’d hoped to achieve that night. He’d wanted her to see him as something more even then. Dane had been a lovesick youth and blinded by his love of her. Some things hadn’t changed since then. She’d been the only girl he’d ever loved, and now she was the one woman he wanted more than anything.
“I was eighteen.”
“True,” she said slowly. “But you were always kind to me. Even when you had that haunted look in your eyes. You still have it every now and then, but it’s not as constant.”
He’d had a lot to feel down about back then. No one had liked him, and his only friend had been Paige. That was still the same in a lot of ways, but Carter could be counted on in a pinch. Ever since he’d became his partner, they’d done a lot together. He’d become the one male of his acquaintance that tolerated him.
“Bullying does that to a person.” He didn’t like admitting that. The kids in his high school had been total dicks. Instead of letting that derail him, he’d taken it as an incentive to do better. He wanted to help people and hopefully, through his actions, make the world a little better—even at a small rate. “I had a lot to work through.”
“I’m glad you were able to.”
“Who says I did?” He lifted a brow. “Some scars are permanent.”
“You’re right,” she agreed. “We all have wounds of a sort that we carry with us. I don’t think a person exists that doesn’t have any baggage they carry around. If they don’t, they’re lucky.”
They entered the ballroom where the fundraiser was being held. Unlike prom, it didn’t have cheap decorations and loud music playing. Tables were set up around the dance floor much like a wedding reception. The centerpieces were a mix of gardenias and lilies. Silver and white tablecloths were scattered around the table in a mixed pattern. The chairs had ribbons of the same colors tied around the back.
“What exactly are we doing here again?”
“Dinner first,” she said. “Let’s find our table.”
“And after that?” He stared at the room and frowned. “There are a lot of people here.”
“That’s a good thing,” she said, then laughed. “More funds that we can wrangle from everyone. After dinner, there’s dancing and a silent auction in another room. I can show you later, and maybe you’ll find something you might like.”
There’s one thing he wanted from this fundraiser—her...
“All right.” He allowed himself to enjoy being with her. Dane wanted to believe in happy-ever-afters, but those kinds of things didn’t happen to him. She seemed to want him, and he definitely yearned for her. It was time to set his doubts aside—at least for the night. They could have something if he stopped sabotaging himself. “Where is our table?”
“At the front, most likely. Since this is to help fund my research.” She led him toward a line of tables near the front podium. “I should warn you that my mother is going to be here. This was her idea, and she’ll want to be a part of it.”
