Page 14 of Kindred Lies
Chapter 8
Amethyst rolled on to her side and flipped open the journal to the page she had left off on. Excitement rolled over her as she prepared to read and discover all of Marianne’s secrets. She knew Marianne had lost her child and the love of her life, but she wanted to understand how it all happened. What had led to her destruction?
February 19,1953
The Valentine's party…perfect, there is no other way to describe it. Easton picked me up at my house and brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. They were a mix of roses and lilies. My two favorite flowers, I don't remember telling him that. It's incredible he went out of his way to find out. I put them in water immediately so I could savor them in length later.
Can I say how beautiful Easton is? I know that isn't the right word to describe a man, but he truly is. He has dark hair and eyes that would rival any sapphire. He stands just over six feet tall and towers over me. I'm only three inches above five feet. I have often said it doesn’t take much to be taller than me, but Easton is so much taller he makes me feel small just being next to him. I almost feel tiny, but in a good way.
He makes me feel safe and adored. At the party he remained attentive and barely left my side. Sadly, I think this bothered Hannah. Maybe she feels like she is losing her best friend. I will have to reassure her that we will always remain close. She matters to me and I don't want to lose my friend just because I have finally found the love of my life…
What wouldit be like to have a best friend? Amethyst had acquaintances. The closest she had to a friend was Samantha Carter. She helped her run the day to day operations of ASK magazine. When Amethyst was away Samantha was in charge, but that didn’t make her something even close to resembling a best friend. In that regard she envied Marianne. She flipped the page to read the next entry and once again became lost in the world of Marianne Trenton-Hill.
March 4,1953
I don't remember if I mentioned it before, but Easton is a couple years older than I am. He knows so much more than I do. Sometimes I feel inadequate speaking with him. His knowledge is extensive. I found out today that his family is actually quite wealthy. Money doesn't matter to me. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life by his side. I told him that when he explained it all to me. Most of his money is tied up in a trust, but he would have full access to it once he married.
Hannah thinks this is his way of hinting that he wants me to marry him just so he can have access to the funds. I don't believe her. I know in my heart he truly loves me. I may be young, but I'm not that naïve. Hannah's attitude is starting to bother me more and more. I wish she could just be happy for me.
All right Amethyststarted to feel the same way Marianne did. Why had Hannah been acting so negative towards Easton? Did she know something Marianne hadn't? If that is how a best friend acted perhaps it was a good thing Amethyst didn’t have one. Hannah was acting wretched. Amethyst had to continue reading to discover if Marianne ever found out why Hanna was acting so irrationally.
March 15,1953
Something amazing happened recently. I have been so busy finding time to write it all down has been a chore. It's very exciting though. Easton proposed to me! I know, I know it is happening very fast. The truth is, I wish it would move much quicker than it is. I burn for him. I can't wait for our lives to start. I need him in ways I can't explain… My innocence is screaming here. I feel so much it is about to burst out of me at the most inopportune moment. I told him I didn't want to wait very long to be his wife. He agreed and we are to be married in two weeks time. It will take that long to arrange everything for our small wedding ceremony. He wants to give his parents time to travel to North Point to attend.
I asked Hannah to stand up with me. She told me no. I'm incredibly sad that she is being so difficult. She hasn't let up at all on her negativity. The last time I talked to her she told me that I'd regret marrying him. It was going to be the biggest mistake I have ever made. How can she be so cruel? She is supposed to be my best friend. All she has done since we both met Easton is try to talk me out of loving him. I cannot explain her attitude. We have always been so close... My wedding is filled with a combination of incredible joy and deep sorrow. I don't have any family left. I had thought Hannah to be family, but her reluctance to accept my choice has told me all I need to know. I can no longer count on her to be on my side no matter what. My heart aches from that loss.
How disheartening…Amethyst related to Marianne more than she ever thought she could. She knew loneliness. Marianne had a friend or thought she had one. She found herself wishing Hannah realized how much she hurt Marianne and made amends. Sadly, she didn't think that hope likely ever happened. Hannah appeared to be dead set against Marianne marrying Easton. Had Hannah been right to discourage Marianne? Was Easton a bad man? If so why would Marianne mourn his loss? None of it made any sense and with each page Amethyst read she craved even more. The entire journal was riveting.
April 1,1953
Our wedding day is here. I can't wait to be Mrs. Easton Hill. The inn has been finished and our wedding is going to be held in the main hall. Easton has named it after us both. It is now the Trenton-Hill Inn. He said it is to be our home and it will be forever intertwined with our lives. It needed to have a name that held meaning to both of us. For me it holds both my past and future. Easton is everything I have ever wanted. I know that only happiness is in store for us now. In a few short hours I will be his wife forever. No words can express the joy in my heart.
I still have not heard from Hannah. I had hoped she would change her mind and still come to the wedding. One of Easton's many cousins is going to stand up for me. It just isn't the same not having my closest friend at my side. She refuses to talk to me no matter what I say. She actually said I needed to leave her alone. Only a truly desperate person would keep reaching out to someone that didn't want anything to do with them anymore. Those words cut me deep to my soul. We have been friends since we were children and now she is acting like someone I don't recognize. How can a person change seemingly overnight?
Amethyst stopped readingat that point. The more she read the more she hated Hannah. Why did she act like Marianne had betrayed her? It just didn't make sense. She could start to see how Marianne's world started to unravel. She lost her best friend, her baby, and then her husband in a very short period of time. No wonder she looked so desolate in her portrait. All that happiness she had been so certain had been fleeting. It slowly started to seep out of her life and before she knew what had happened only sorrow had remained. Reading her story was the most painful one Amethyst had ever read. The strange part is she couldn't shake the feeling that her story impacted her in some way. So she forced herself to go back to the journal. She read several entries when she came to one that stood out to her.
March 15,1954
My son died today. My beautiful tiny baby boy… The pain in my chest… I can't breathe. How am I going to survive this? Easton has tried to comfort me. I just can't let him touch me. I feel so lost. We were happy. My life with my son and Easton, nothing could have been better than this. Now…nothing could ever make me feel joy again. I have a hole where my heart used to be. He may have only been with me for a short month, but my son meant the world to me. It kills me to know I will never watch him grow, find love, and have children of his own.
Easton had commissioned a painting. It was supposed to showcase me and our child. He wanted something special to commemorate his birth. He told me earlier he planned on cancelling it. I told him not to. The painting still needs to be done. Instead of a mother's love it would show a mother's grief. Maybe by doing this I can let it go and start over. I can only hope I find my way out of this darkness taking over my soul.
Pain stabbedAmethyst’s heart and twisted until it ached even more. It was almost as if she could feel every ounce of Marianne’s agony. A tear slipped from her eye and she quickly wiped it away, then returned to her reading.
April 1,1954
It's our anniversary. Easton has tried to get me to celebrate. I can see how much my grief is straining our relationship. I'm trying, I truly am. The painting is almost finished. Soon I can empty it all out of me and function again. It has to work. I don't know what else I could possibly do. I know I'm hurting him. There just doesn’t seem like anything I can do to make it right. I feel like this is my only choice.
He needs to understand how broken I am. If we are going to make it at all I need to heal. This painting is the answer. I'm as sure of it as I am of our love. I wish I could let it go as easily as he wants me too. I just cannot do it right now. I need more time. I tried to explain this to him, but he looks as lost as I feel. I know he needs me. I keep saying just give me a little bit more time, I fear I'm losing him. I need to snap out of this before that's a reality.
Poor soulsso lost and alone, their pain hit Amethyst hard. She wanted to reach through the pages and shake them both. They needed each other how could they turn away from each other in such a tragic time. Why did their love seem so doomed? It felt like they had a curse hanging over their head. Amethyst didn't know how much more of their agony she could take. She needed a break from the journal so she set it down on the night table and crawled under the covers. Maybe tomorrow she could finish it and find out how their love story ended. Stories like theirs made her never want to fall in love. No one in her life had survived with their love whole and strong. She wanted to believe, but the more she investigated things it just looked like betting on love ensured you lost every time.
She looked at the clock on her phone. It blinked at her that she had stayed up reading too long. She had no idea when her mother planned on showing up the next day, but she wanted to be awake at least to deal with her arrival. She could be a bit overwhelming at times. Who was she kidding? Lyoness Keane would always be a force to be reckoned with. Hurricanes had nothing on her sheer energy and determination. Amethyst needed to get as much rest as possible so she could rain in those gale force winds known as her mother. Laying down on her bed she allowed her to remember the good times growing up, after all, it hadn't been filled with bad memories.
She never doubted her mother's love; she just distrusted her mother's ability to find a man to fill the void in her heart that Amethyst's father had left in it. The only time she had asked her mother about him she saw pure agony in her eyes. With a voice filled with grief she said, “He's gone. Dead. I can't talk about it.” Amethyst never asked again. She hadn't wanted to cause her mom any more pain. Lyoness felt enough without her adding to it.
A smile formed on her face as she thought about her mother. She did love her, even at her worst. Lyoness Keane demanded it and she didn't mind giving it to her. In all her life her mom remained the only soul she allowed herself to have any strong feelings for. He eyes started to drop closed as sleep started to take over her mind. Not long after that she drifted into a dream world filled with confusion and the thing that scared her most. Loving and losing someone that meant more to her than her own life. In her dreams she saw Cooper and her falling in love and losing each other. They switched places with Marianne and Easton and experienced all their pain and joy.
She woke up screaming when she though she had lost it all.
Amethyst sat up in her bed. Heavy short breaths fell from her open mouth. Looking over at the clock she realized only two hours had passed since she crawled into bed. Her dream mixed her life and Marianne's creating a horrendous dream. Apparently Cooper had begun to mean a lot more to her than she had thought if he took a starring role in her worst nightmare.
