Page 12 of Her Rogue for Christmas
Sunlight peeked through the drapes in Theo’s bedchamber.He hadn’t remembered to fully close them when they’d come back to his room the previous night.Elena lay nestled against him, her glorious red hair spilling over his chest, and a surge of happiness spread through him.Stroking the soft locks with reverence, he thought how he would give anything to wake each morning to this sight.She was so utterly lovely that it stole his breath.He adored her and wished to cherish her for the rest of their days.Somehow, he had to make her see how good it could be for them—how they deserved more than just one night.
“Darling,” he whispered.“Elena, wake up, love.”
She yawned, rolled onto her back, then sat up abruptly.“I’m still in your bed.”
“Indeed,” he said, smiling.“Come back here and let me kiss you properly.”
She shook her head and moved to the edge of the bed, searching for her clothes.Finding her shift, she slipped it over her head, her expression shifting to one of panic as she gathered her gown, stays, and shoes.She still wore her stockings, which had been deliciously distracting the entire night.He frowned and slid out of bed, unbothered by his own nakedness.
“I cannot stay,” she said, her voice tense.“The scandal…”
“Elena,” he called her name again, hoping to capture her attention.“There’s no need to rush off.”
“Of course there is.”She frowned at him.“The night is over.I should have left before dawn.Surely, someone will see me leaving your bedchamber.”
Theo’s heart sank.She was truly ending this.He had not believed she could leave him so easily, yet he realized he had been a fool to think otherwise.Clearly, she could not allow herself happiness.That bloody bastard of a husband she’d had ruined her.He sighed, sitting on the bed.Fighting the inevitable would change nothing.Theo had agreed to one night, and he would not insist on more.He loved her, and he would have to let her go.Somehow, he would find a way to live without her.He was not sure how he would accomplish that impossible feat, but he would.Otherwise, what purpose was there in living?
“All right,” he said quietly.“Go on, then, and do what you do best.Run away, darling, and retreat to your solitude.”
“There is no need to be bitter,” she replied, her tone disapproving.“You agreed…”
“I know what I agreed to,” he cut in, harsher than he intended.“And I am honoring it.I am not asking you to stay, even though every part of me is begging to do just that.I am watching you walk away from me—for the last time.”
“But…” She frowned, confused.“I don’t understand.”
“I am done, Elena.”He scrubbed a hand over his face.“My love for you is not enough, and I can’t keep trying.Not that I did much before this house party.Foolishly, I thought you would come to me when you were ready.When it became clear you would not, I came to you.”He shook his head, disappointment thick in his voice.“You do not want me—not really.If you did, it would not be so easy to toss me aside as if I meant nothing.It is time I accept that we have no future.You have received what you wanted, darling.I gave you your one night of passion.Go now and protect your reputation.”
“Theo,” she began.Her eyes were filled with concern but he could not allow himself to stray from the course.
“I do not wish to hear apologies or explanations.”He kept his gaze averted.His heart was truly broken.He had lost all hope.Their one night together had been filled with passion, and he would cherish it forever, but nothing could compare to the pain of letting her go.“Do not fret, love.Once you are gone, I will not linger here.I will have my carriage brought around, and you will never have to see me again.”
“You do not have to leave,” she protested.“Why are you acting this way?”
Slowly, he lifted his gaze to meet hers.The despair he felt must have been evident, spilling from his eyes.“I can’t be near you anymore.Don’t you understand?It is too difficult for me.I have to go.If I have any chance of moving past what I feel for you, I need distance.I just…” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.When he opened them, he finished with difficulty.“I just can’t.”
Elena inhaled sharply.“Theo.”She placed a hand over her heart.“I never meant…”
“Darling,” he interrupted softly.“There is no need to say anything.I knew what you were asking of me, and it is my burden to bear.I knew you wanted nothing beyond last night.I have no regrets.I would not change a thing.I love you.I adored our time together, and I foolishly hoped you would want more than one night.But you have done nothing wrong.You never promised me anything.Go to your room, love.I will be all right, I promise.”
He prayed he could keep that promise, though he doubted he could.It would take time, but he hoped he could live up to his words.She clutched her gown to her chest, then nodded.“Very well.I will leave now, but please…do not depart without saying goodbye.”
He could not agree to that.If he saw her again, he might not leave at all.“You best go now, before it is too late to avoid another guest.You still have a chance of escaping this room unnoticed.”
She frowned, hesitated, but then turned and left his bedchamber.Once she was gone, he began packing, dressing quickly.He was thankful he did not require a valet; it would make his departure easier, quieter.
With a final glance at the bed where they had shared their night, Theo finished preparing to leave, knowing he was leaving his heart behind.
Several days later…
Elena browsed the shelves of the library.She didn’t truly want anything to read, but ever since Theo had left without saying goodbye, she’d been restless.She had hoped a book might soothe her nerves, though none of the volumes on the shelves seemed to hold any appeal.
At the sound of her dearest friend’s voice, she tensed.Eli was bound to be less than pleased with her, especially given her recent choices.“Not sure what you wish to read?”he asked.
Turning, she managed a smile, though she didn’t feel it.It was merely a pretense—an attempt to feign contentment with the choices she’d made.“I fear I’m experiencing a touch of ennui,” she replied, her voice bright yet brittle.“I’m surprised to see you back so soon.I trust your trip was successful?”
“It was,” he confirmed, though he offered no details.Leaning against the wall, he crossed his arms.“Do you know where I went?”
Her lips twitched.“I was told you went to procure a special license in time for a Christmas wedding.”She moved a little closer.“Was I correctly informed?”
