Page 10 of Her Duke to Seduce
She swallowed, forcing herself to step back, though every fiber of her being screamed in protest. If she did not stop this now, she would never be able to. She had not counted on desire feeling like this—overwhelming, all-consuming. “I need to go,” she said, though she made no move to leave. Her voice was unsteady, her breathing shallow.
Aiden studied her, his stormy blue gaze filled with something she could not quite name. “You do not want to.”
“No,” she admitted. Felicity swallowed hard. She could not stay there. This had not gone as she had planned. “But I must.” She should say something clever, something cutting, but she could not find the words—it would not do for him to seek her company again. Instead, she merely inclined her head and turned away, her heart hammering in her chest. With each step back toward the ballroom, she felt the heat of his gaze upon her, branding her in a way no man ever had before.
She had come into the garden seeking ruination. She had found something far more dangerous. Felicity had found a man she might never forget, and she had to keep as much distance between them as possible. This had been a grave error in judgment on her part.
Four
Felicity did not go back to the ball. Her aunt would be disappointed in her, but then again, when had Aunt Enid ever approved of her? She had been trying to change her since she was a girl of ten, and now that she was a decade older nothing had changed. Felicity certainly hadn’t. She was as brazen as ever and she would not alter anything about herself. She liked who she was and she would not apologize for it.
She had planned on having some gentleman ruin her. It had been a silly plan and now that she had abandoned it she recognized that. Instead it would be far better for her to leave England altogether. She could take a ship to the continent or even go so far as America. She considered her options and wondered what the West Indies would be like.
Perhaps even those options were being reckless. She should consider it all and decide on the best course for her. France would likely be too dangerous even if Napoleon had been defeated. She would be far better to go to another country. She nibbled on her bottom lip and thought it all through. With logic instead of desperation as she had previously. She had studied a lot and was fluent in French, Italian, and Greek. The latter had been just to see if she could learn it. French and Italian had asimilar pattern to it so she picked both up easily. Italy might be her best option, but she might reconsider later.
She pulled out a valise and started to pack. If she planned to travel she would have to do so as a man. No captain worth his salt would allow her aboard without a chaperone. Luckily she had a gentleman’s full attire created for her in duplicate. Felicity had packed it all on the off chance she might need it. She added two simple day gowns that she could fasten on her own, and one set of man’s attire. The other she intended to wear as she sneaked out of the house once everyone was asleep. Though perhaps she should go now when her aunt was otherwise occupied. It might be easier to sneak out in a crowd of people…
She finished packing and then undressed quickly. Her scarlet gown’s design made it easy for her to undress on her own. She’d had it created that way on purpose. After her maid had helped her earlier Felicity had told her to retire for the evening. She had not wanted anyone around in case she had planned something other than seduction for her evening—and if she had gone with seduction she did not need a maid privy to those details either. She would have revealed her lack of innocence in her own way, and at a time of her choosing.
After she removed her gown she put it in her valise. She wanted to take it with her to remember the night—to remember Aiden. Felicity lifted her fingers to her lips and recalled that kiss. It had been—so much more than she could ever have imagined. Something that decadent should be savored. She almost wished she could go to him and demand he kiss her again so she could relive that feeling. It was something she would not forget for as long as she lived. It was her one taste of passion and she may never have that feeling with another man. She doubted she would ever allow herself to be that vulnerable with a man again. It was far riskier than she had originally believed. She hadthought herself incapable of being lost in a man’s touch. She’d been so wrong.
Felicity shook herself from her reverie. She could not allow herself to be distracted by thoughts of Aiden and the way he had made her feel. It was a dangerous indulgence, and she had indulged enough for one evening. No, she had to move quickly before she lost her resolve entirely.
She slipped into the gentleman’s attire, securing the trousers about her waist and buttoning the crisp linen shirt with practiced ease. The waistcoat fit snugly, and she tugged on the dark coat, adjusting the shoulders until the disguise felt natural. Her blonde locks were the most difficult obstacle. She swept them up beneath a tricorn hat, tucking away every telltale strand. When she glanced at herself in the mirror, a stranger stared back at her—a young man with sharp, storm-gray eyes and an air of quiet determination.
A small, almost defiant smile curled her lips. She could do this.
She fastened her boots and hoisted the valise over her shoulder. If she hesitated now, she might never leave. If she allowed herself a single moment of doubt, she might run straight back to Aiden, straight back to the very thing she had spent years trying to avoid—a life dictated by a man, by expectation, by marriage.
No. That would not be her fate.
Felicity stole across the room, every movement careful, precise. She eased the door open and peered into the dimly lit corridor. The house was still alive with music and conversation from the ballroom below, but this wing was quiet. The revelers were too caught up in their frivolity to notice a solitary figure slipping through the shadows. She crept down the servants’ stairwell, careful to avoid the steps she knew creaked, and emerged in the back hall. The kitchen staff would be preoccupiedwith the evening’s demands, which meant the rear entrance was the safest route.
The cool night air greeted her as she stepped outside. The gardens were still, bathed in moonlight, and the stable beyond was dark. Perfect. She would need a mount. A carriage was too conspicuous, and she had no coachman she could trust not to alert her aunt. A swift horse would take her to the nearest posting inn, where she could secure passage to the coast. From there, she would find a ship bound for the continent.
Heart pounding, she made her way toward the stables, every step measured, every sound magnified in her ears. She was nearly there when a shadow detached from the darkness.
"Running away, are we?" The deep, familiar voice sent a jolt through her, halting her in her tracks. She turned sharply, her breath catching as she met Aiden’s piercing gaze. He stood in the moonlight, arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable. His dark hair was slightly tousled, as though he had run a hand through it in frustration, and the intensity in his eyes was enough to make her shiver.
Aiden had decidedto return to home. There was no real reason to stay. He would have liked to dance with Felicity again, but she had not returned to the ballroom. The only thing he could surmise was that she had decided to depart after their private dance in the garden. So he had departed the ball without even stopping to speak with the Countess of Winston to say goodbye. Felicity had been his only concern. He had not expected that he would discover her exiting the manor in breeches of all things. At first he had not realized it was her, and then he caught a glimpse of that golden hair she’d tried to hideand knew. He had stiffened at the sight of her dressed do scandalously. He got a lovely view of her derriere in those breeches and his arousal sprung to life.
Slowly Felicity straightened her spine, lifting her chin and boldly met his gaze. "That is none of your concern, my lord."
Aiden arched a brow. "On the contrary, I find it very much my concern when a lady—particularly one I just kissed—decides to disappear into the night dressed as a man." And he prayed no other man saw her like this. He enjoyed it far too much and he did not wish to share her with anyone.
She swallowed hard and smirked at him. There was a wicked gleam in her eyes he appreciated. "You presume much. Perhaps I simply enjoy masquerading as a gentleman."
He exhaled a short laugh, but there was no humor in it. "Do not play games with me, Felicity. You are running." Why was she running? What could be so terrible that she needed to make a quick escape? He did not understand what was going on with her. He wanted to pull her against him and kiss her senseless, then throw her over his shoulder and keep her forever. What the hell had she done to him in such a short time?
She clenched her jaw. "And if I am?"
His expression hardened. "Then I must ask—where do you plan to go? Do you even have a plan, or is this a reckless impulse?" Where would she bloody go?
"I do have a plan," she said hotly. "And I do not require your interference."
Aiden took a step closer, and he was painfully aware of her, her presence, the way she seemed to consume the very air around him. "Do you think I will simply allow you to vanish?" he asked, his voice low. "Do you think I will stand idly by while you put yourself in danger?" He could not let her disappear on him. He had just found her and to lose her already…
"I am not your responsibility," she shot back.
