Page 75 of I Could Have Missed This
“But look at it this way. This just shows you how far you’ve come. You don’t want to go back to the way you were a few months ago. You’ve come so far. You can’t give up Noah. I believe in you, you’re the strongest person I know.”
“I don’t feel very strong right now.”
“Do it scared, Noah. You have to. You know that now, right?” he asks, signalling me to look at him.
“Yeah, I know what I need to do.” I need to go back to where I belong. I need to make amends. And I need to end this. I can’t live my life running from the past. I need to face it head-on and take back control.
This is it. This is the moment I take my life back.
Ineedto go back home.
Stars twinkle above me by the time I make it back to Teddy’s flat. I’ve been hyper-aware of everything around me, making sure no one is following me. The bronze family might be watching me. They might already know I’m back.
I stare at the front door for a few moments. What do I say? What do I do? What will Teddy do?
Sometimes it’s better just to take the first step and figure out the rest when you get there. So, I take a deep breath and enter the house. The door makes a loud noise when it opens. I close it behind me. The murmuring in the living room is quiet now. You could hear a pin drop, it’s so quiet. I put my bag down on the floor and walk into the living room. Elijah, Cat and Daisy stareat me from the couch. Teddy doesn’t look up. No one makes a sound. I can’t take the silence anymore.
“Hi.” At the sound of my voice, Teddy looks up. He studies my face for a moment, as if he can’t believe it’s actually me. His movements are slow. He rises from his seat like a million rocks are weighing him down. Then he takes a few steps towards me, progressively getting faster until he breaks into a run towards me. The feeling of his arms wrapping around my neck is enough to set me off again; Teddy too. We sob into each other’s shoulders, a sound so filled with pain that the others look tearful too.
“Teddy, I’m sorry, I didn’t?—”
“Never do that to me again,” he tells me, then breaks away from the hug but leaves his hands on my shoulders. Looking into his eyes again makes me wish I had never left.
“Promise me,” he asks, not breaking eye contact. Tears are running down his cheeks. I take the tissues Arthur gave me and move closer to him. He lets go of my shoulders, and they hang by his side. I wipe his tears, slowly and carefully. The soft tissues soak up all of the tears I caused.
“Never again,” I say, dabbing his cheek, then I start caressing it with my thumb. His bottom lip trembles terribly before I go in for a kiss, just a quick one. We put our foreheads together.
“It wasn’t your fault. I promise. There’s so much I need to tell you.”
“Please tell me everything. I just want to hear your voice, I…” he trails off as his voice cracks.
I did this to him.
“Please don’t cry anymore, it’s okay,” I whisper.
We back out of our hug, but I don’t stop gripping his hand with all my might. I’m holding on so tight I’m afraid I might break his hand, but when I loosen my grip, he just tightens his. My hand is at the centre of the universe in his.
“I have a lot of explaining to do, I know.”
“Yup,” Elijah mutters under their breath.
“The Bronze family threatened me with your lives if I didn’t leave.”
Teddy lets go of my hand. His face turns red, and his whole body tenses.
“They did what?” Teddy shouts, gritting his teeth.
“I was visiting my mother’s bench, and the bronze family came and lit it on fire. Then they put a knife to my throat and told me to leave or they would kill all of you,” I explain as my breath hitches. My lower lip trembles.
“And you believed them? They could just be empty threats, Noah,” Daisy says, her face boiling up like hot lava. I glance at the ground and sniff. I feel tears coming on, but I keep them at bay for now.
“They were the ones that killed my mother. I didn’t want them to kill anyone else.”
“They… oh my god,” Daisy whispers, covering her mouth with her hand. Teddy hugs me tightly. We stay like that for a while. I breathe in the scent of his hair as we back away. Cat moves towards me.
“First your mother, then Kai, and now this? I’m so sorry, Noah,” Cat says. She rises from the couch across from me before giving me a hug.
“So many hugs,” I say with a small laugh.
