Page 27 of The Secret Shape of Worship
“It’s ok, Anubis.”
“It is not.” The god couldn’t look at him, his voice barely above a whisper.
The feeling of a forced god was nothing new to Mina. The wordsnoandenoughhad no meaning or power for those who believed that what a person wants is meaningless in the face of the divine.
How many times had he been forced to accept a touch or embrace from an elder who made him uncomfortable simply because they held a position of authority? How many times had he been dragged to counseling by his father to root out any sins that might cause him to stumble? In his life in the church, worship was obedience. A surrendering of self. Submission to a higher power, no matter the cost.
But here, with Anubis, Mina was coming to understand that worship was not a surrenderofself. It was a surrendertoself. He was finally starting to understand that even in the face of a twenty-foot god, his wants mattered. His voice had power. His body and mind were sacred.
He pulled the god’s hand to his cheek and held it there. “I’ll be ok. I forgive you, Anu.”
“I will make this up to you, mykianga.I will not hold my heart back from you any longer. I will love you fully. To whatever desire your heart may summon mine. To whatever end our journey may take us.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
WITNESS
The next morning, Mina woke alone. The morning fire was blazing, and a tray overflowing with pita, figs, pomegranate, and salted perch sat on the table beside him. All of his favorites.
But no Anubis.
Mina called out to the empty room.
He paced for minutes, hours, picking nervously at the bread and trying not to panic. He called out into the dark corridors outside their room, but still nothing.
Did something happen?
Had the jackals betrayed Anubis?
But Anubis had left breakfast, enough for two. Perhaps a sign meant to tell Mina that he would be back.
Mina poked his head from the doorway out into the dark tunnel. He never went anywhere without letting Anubis know where he was going. By now, Mina knew the areas of the necropolis that were safe to avoid the rest of the group, but Anubis still liked to make sure that there was a hedge of extra protection around wherever Mina or the pair walked. He didn’t like to take any chances.
But as the minutes crept on and Mina’s panic became dread, he considered breaking the rules.
Just as he was preparing to step out of the room, a sound caught his ear. Feet. Slow, dragging shoes across stone. Not the sure-footed, long-stride gate of Anubis. This was something else. This was…someoneelse. Mina stepped back into the room and listened as the footfalls grew closer and closer. A shadow passed before the door. Just as Mina was considering throwing himself behind the bed, a figure emerged in the doorway.
“Mina?”
“Devon?”
“There you are!” his classmate shouted, running into the room. “Where have you…” Devon stopped short, staring, his eyes growing wider the longer he looked. Mina couldn’t figure out what Devon was gawking at, but then he considered his appearance through his classmate’s eyes. His short white Egyptian skirt. His bare, glistening skin. His hair, which he now wore partially tied back with a black leather cord ever since it got so long and wild it touched his shoulders.
“Mina, what…happened to you? Your hair. Your…what are you wearing?”
“Devon, how did you find me? How are you here?” Mina looked around, nervous now that Anubis would appear suddenly. He didn’t know how the god would react to another mortal intruder.
“We’ve been lost in here for almost two days, Mina. I think. It’s hard to tell down here.”
Days? That couldn’t be right. It should only be hours at most. Isn’t that what Anubis had said?
“Well, I’ve been lost anyway. I separated from the rest of the group when I thought I heard something. Or felt something. Or maybe smelled something? I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. Ijust reached a fork in the tunnel and had a feeling and knew I had to follow it. But then I got turned around.”
Mina racked his brain trying to understand how this could have happened. Anubis said he’d made it so that time moved more slowly for the outside world. That he could keep it up indefinitely. Was his power slipping? Surely not. If so, Mina would have been found by now.
Somehow, Devon had found his way through. Had something in the temple reached out for him, just as it had for Mina?
“I thought I was going to die. Speaking of which, do you have water?”
