Page 24 of The Secret Shape of Worship
“Yes.”
Mina threw himself out of bed, walking around to insert himself into Anubis's line of sight. “Well fucking look at me, dammit!” Mina said, raising his arms, showing his naked body. He sensed the desire in Anubis, and almost immediately, he sensed it being pushed away.
“I can feel you too now, you know. Just like you can feel me. I’m no god, but I have learned to read your thoughts almost as well as you read mine. Why are you pushing me away? What’s changed? You still love me, I know it. But you won’t touch me. You barely even speak to me now. I don’t get it. Make me understand, Anu.”
“You cannot understand. And so, yes, I have shielded these things from you so as not to upset or confuse you with matters in which only deities have sway.”
Mina made a show of rolling his eyes nearly out of his skull. “Ok. Fine. You don’t want me involved in your god business. I get it. But you can’t just keep pushing me away completely. Otherwise, what am I doing here? What are we doing? Just waiting around for those jackals to come back for me?”
Anubis's eyes blazed red. His fists clenched. Mina felt the fire of possessiveness ignite. He softened his tone and stepped closer, a hand pressing down on each of Anubis’s knees. “I don’t live forever, Anu. I’m not a god like you. Our time isn’t infinite. You want to spend it like this? Shadows in each other’s lives?”
“You know I do not, mykianga.”
“If I truly am yourbeloved,thenloveme. Show me.” Mina stepped closer. “You made me a promise, you know.”
Anubis looked away. Mina felt the hungry, lustful thing inside him spasm and start to shrivel.It’s over,he thought.Something has changed that can’t be undone. But then Anubis smiled, his full human lips parting, flashing a bright white smile and two sharp canine teeth which, apart from his slightly pointed ears, were the only vestiges of the jackal he retained in his human form.
“Let us walk by the river,” Anubis said.
Mina narrowed his eyes, suspicious at the sudden change in tone. But he could sense a shift in his god’s mind, and so he smiled back. “Ok,” he said. “I’d like that.”
Mina dressed, and the two wound through the tunnels and out into the yellowing light of the afternoon sun.
The river was a widemolten ribbon of gold. At the edge of the bank, Mina’s pale, oiled skin shone like an alabaster jar. In the reflection of the water, he couldn’t help but admire the shape of his body, tightening his chest and flexing the smooth muscles in his leg, stretched in distinct lean lines.
“You have come a long way,” Anubis remarked as they walked along the river, twirling his flail absently around his fingers. Mina didn’t feel even a moment of self-consciousness as his god watched him admire his own reflection in the water. He loved himself. And he was happy to make Anubis happy.
“You have learned almost all there is to learn. Your journey is nearly complete.”
Mina stopped. He looked up at Anubis. “Does that mean…”
“Of course not.”
“What about your duty? To shepherd souls and then move on to the next in 100 years?”
The pair walked on, and Mina worried that Anubis wasn’t going to answer him. “Things have changed,” he finally said.
“What do you mean?”
“My work with you may be coming to an end. But something else has arisen which will take far, far longer to reach its end.”
“And what is that?”
“My love for you.”
Mina burned from the inside out. He bit his lip to stop the immediate quiver that overtook it. “Anu,” he said, reaching for his god’s hand, intertwining their fingers and resting his head onAnubis’s arm as they walked. “You’re such a big, cheesy monster, and I love you too.”
Anubis leaned into him and stopped, turning Mina to face him, cupping the small shape of Mina’s face in his huge hands. He pressed his lips to Mina’s. Parted them with his tongue and explored the warm recesses of his mouth. Mina explored in return. It was as familiar to him as the winding route of the necropolis tunnels, the snaking length of the Nile.
Anubis pulled slowly away, and as he did, Mina felt the god's fingers begin to elongate against the side of his face. His features lengthened into their jackal form.
Mina smiled. “Why the change?”
Anubis let go of Mina and took a step back. A dark, lustful look came over the jackal’s face. His eyes blazed. The two stood, feet apart, in the golden light of the sun and stared at one another, their breaths growing heavy. Mina looked the jackal god up and down. His hulking form. His long arms and clawed fingers. The sleek line of his jaw. The dangerous angle of his lips curving up to reveal his salivating fangs. And Mina saw Anubis looking him over just as thoroughly. Up and down the length of his thin, lithe body. He saw the massive bulge begin to form beneath the god’sshendyt.
“Take off your clothes,” Anubis growled. The thunderous quake of authority was back in his god’s voice, and Mina shook, his groin already growing tight, his knees weak with the sudden desire to submit himself. A drop of saliva dripped from the god’s exposed fangs, and Mina thought he looked ready to devour the flesh off his bones.
Mina obeyed.
