Page 37 of A Baxter Family Christmas
For several seconds, the others just looked at each other. Kendra spoke first. “That’s exactly when we held hands and prayed.” She looked at Moe. “It was, right?”
“Definitely.” Elaine checked her phone. “I texted Reagan after we prayed. It must’ve happened right after that.”
Reagan had tears in her eyes. “God must’ve wanted us here. With all of you.”
At that point, Luke took a few steps toward Kendra Bryant. “I’m Luke. Erin’s youngest brother.”
“I’m Kendra.”
John watched, amazed at the change in Luke. He had definitely wanted to avoid a moment like this. But now here he was extending kindness to Kendra the way John had hoped.
“My dad told us Erin would’ve wanted this. For us to meet you and see for ourselves the difference her life meant.”
“I believe that, too.” For the first time since she walked through the front door, John watched Kendra blink back tears as she leaned against her husband. Then she looked around the room at the others. Each of them one at a time. “I was going to wait and say this later. When we open presents. But I need to say it now, before another minute passes.”
John felt his throat tighten. He had known this moment was coming, and that it would be hard for all of them.
“A few years ago I got sick. My heart took the worst of my illness and there was no cure.” She pressed in toward her husband. “Without a new heart, I would be dead by now.”
Two tears slid down John’s face. Around the room he could see the others crying, too. Even a few of the older grandchildren. Standing across from Kendra, Ashley hugged Amy close.
Kendra continued. “But there was a problem. If I was going to live, someone else would have to die.”
Moe cleared his throat. “She almost didn’t put her name on the list. For that reason.”
“I couldn’t stand the thought that I might get to live, but someone else wouldn’t.” She looked at Moe. “Then my husband told me something I hadn’t thought about before. People die. The death of a heart donor would happen whether I accepted a new heart or not.” She shifted her look to John. “And he told me something else. If a person agrees to be an organ donor, then that’s something very personal. Something that person chose to do.”
“Yes.” John dabbed at his eyes and nodded. “Erin was like that.”
“So... what I wanted to tell you all is this.” Tears filled Kendra’s eyes, but her words came anyway. “I’m sorry about what happened to Erin. If I had to choose, I would’ve died so thatshecould live.” Kendra looked at Ashley and Luke, Kari and Brooke and Dayne. Last of all she looked at Amy. “I absolutely would have.” She hesitated. “But it doesn’t work that way. And now... I’m here and she isn’t. And I’m so sorry about that.”
“It’s not your fault.” John stepped forward and took Kendra’s hand. “We all know that.”
“Yes.” She caught a few tears with her fingertips. “But I wanted you to know how thankful I am. For this gift of life.” She looked right at John. “I wish I would’ve known Erin. But because of you”—she looked around—“all of you, I feel like I do. So... thank you for that, too.”
The moment was tougher than John had expected. But it was necessary. John took a deep breath. “Why don’t we all go eat. And during dinner, maybe everyone can tell Kendra something they loved about Erin.”
His family nodded and murmured their quiet agreement. As the group headed back to the table, John hoped he had made the right decision. They hadn’t talked about Erin openly like this in a long time.
But it took only a few minutes for him to know that this was exactly what they needed. With Kendra here, they were all thinking about Erin and Sam and the girls. This gave the family a chance to remember them. Especially Erin. Not just the kindness she showed to others, but the funny things she used to say and the way she made a family celebration warmer—just by being in the room.
“Back when we used to have a kids’ table at Thanksgiving, Erin always sat with them.” Brooke’s eyes grew distant, her laugh drawn from days gone by. “Maddie and Hayley used to think she was one of the cousins.”
Kari nodded. “I remember one Thanksgiving Jessie brought matching hair ribbons for all the little girls. Remember, the ones with purple turkeys on them?”
“Absolutely.” John chuckled. He could picture his youngest daughter as clearly as if she were sitting there at the table. “Erin got one, too.”
“Yes.” Kari smiled. “She wore it all day.”
They shared throughout dinner, and several times one of them remembered something that made the others laugh. Even Kendra’s mood seemed lighter, she and Moe now more connected to the Baxter family.
After dinner and dessert they headed into the living room and gathered around the tree. They would be together again tomorrow, but tonight John had a gift for each of his grandkids—something special Elaine and he had chosen for each of them.
As the kids opened gifts, John noticed again that Amy was quieter than the others. She still hadn’t had a moment with Kendra. Not like John had pictured. It made him wonder how Amy was taking all this.
When the children were finished exchanging presents, Kendra stood and brought a large bag into the room. “I have a few gifts, too.”
“You didn’t have to get us anything.” John had already told her that during one of their phone calls. “We’re just thankful you and Moe are here.”
