Page 38 of A Baxter Family Christmas
“Yes.” She nodded. “I know. But... I wanted to.” She pulled a gift from the bag and handed it to John. “This is for you and Elaine.”
John’s hands trembled as he took the present and set it between him and Elaine. He spoke softly to her. “You go ahead.”
She slid off the wrapping paper and at the same time they both saw the gift. It was a wooden heart, made of rough-hewn older wood. And painted across it were the words “The Heart Remembers...”
Kendra watched him read it. “I’m different since the transplant.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. “As if some of what mattered to Erin, now matters to me. Especially her faith.”
Tears blurred John’s vision. He handed the heart to Elaine and crossed the room to hug Kendra. He wanted to ask her what she meant exactly, or how she knew something was different. But those deeper conversations could come later. “Thank you. We will cherish this.”
Around the room the others were quiet, some of them wiping at tears once more. “That’s beautiful, Kendra.” Ashley was the first of them to speak. “Erin would’ve loved knowing that.”
Kendra smiled as she handed gifts to Ashley and her siblings. Each of them received a small heart-shaped stone with the same words engraved on it.The Heart Remembers.Then Kendra pulled one more gift from the bag. A smaller one. “This”—she looked across the room—“is for you, Amy.”
And with that, the entire room fell silent. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath. And if John knew his kids and grandkids, they were doing something else, also.
Praying for Amy... and the moment ahead.
All night long, Amy couldn’t take her eyes off the woman. Amy still wanted to be here, still wanted to meet Kendra. But she couldn’t seem to find the words to talk to her. Every time she thought about going up and saying something, the timing didn’t seem right.
Like they were eating dinner or praying in a circle or listening to Uncle Luke and Aunt Reagan and her cousins singing on the front porch. There wasn’t really a chance for Amy to talk to the lady alone.
Until now.
Amy could feel everyone looking at her, but she didn’t care. She stood and walked toward Kendra. “You brought me a Christmas present?”
“I did.” Kendra got down on her knees and held out the little wrapped gift. “No one here misses your mommy more than you.” Kendra’s voice was quiet and sad and real. All at the same time. “I’m sorry about that, Amy. I meant what I said. If I could trade with your mom, I would. So she could be here with you.”
Amy started to cry. Not because she was sad to spend more time with Kendra. But because Kendra understood exactly how she felt. She wanted her mommy to be here so badly. But since her mommy had to be with the rest of her family in heaven, it was very nice to know Kendra got to be alive.
And that her mommy had helped make that possible. Her mommy and God, of course.
Amy pressed her hands to her eyes and wiped away her tears. It wasn’t nice to cry when someone just gave you a Christmas present. When she could see better, she opened the gift. Inside was a little velvet box. Amy opened that, too, and lying in the box was a gold heart necklace.
“It’s a locket.” Kendra helped Amy take the necklace from the box. “See?” The heart had a little door on it, and inside was a picture of her mother. She looked young and happy and pretty.
“My mommy...” Amy ran her thumb over the picture.
“Yes.” Kendra was crying a little. “I have your mommy’s heart, Amy. But you do, too. You always will. Because your mom is always with you.” Kendra put her hand on Amy’s shoulder. “I thought a heart necklace would help you remember that.”
Amy looked from the necklace to Kendra. “How did you find her picture?”
Kendra looked at Amy’s papa and then back at Amy. “I had a little help.” She held up the necklace. “Can I put it on you?”
“Yes, please.” Amy stood very still as Kendra unhooked the necklace and then fastened it around Amy’s neck. Kendra smiled at her, even though her eyes were wet. “Do you like it?”
“It’s perfect.” Amy looked at the open heart, and the small picture of her mommy, and slowly she closed the locket and pressed it soft against her chest. “Thank you, Kendra.
“Can I... can I feel your heart?” She had been afraid to ask, afraid Kendra would say no. But she had to at least try.
Kendra looked like she wasn’t sure. But then she did a little smile. “Of course.” She took Amy’s hand gently in her own and pressed it against her chest. And all of a sudden Amy could feel her mother’s heartbeat. The way she had felt it when she was little and her mommy held her, or when she was scared at night and her mom would sit with her on the edge of her bed. Or when she’d sit on her mommy’s lap and listen to a story.
Or when she’d cuddle with her mommy on Christmas morning.
Amy went to Kendra then and hugged her. For a long time. And as she did she could feel her mommy’s heartbeat again. “Thank you.”
“Of course, honey.” Kendra held her again.
As Amy held on, she pretended just for a minute that her mommy was here. That she was safe in her arms and that she didn’t have to miss her ever again. But then she blinked a few times and looked at Kendra. This wasn’t her mother. Kendra was just a nice lady with her mommy’s heart.
