Page 39 of A Baxter Family Christmas
No, her mommy was never coming back. No one could take her place. But she knew her mommy was still alive because she was in heaven. And one day they would all be together again. Her whole family. Until then, her mommy had left a piece of herself behind to help Kendra live. But that wasn’t all. She had left a piece of her heartinsideAmy, too.
The heart around her neck would remind her of that.
Now and forever.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Dessert was being prepared in the kitchen, but Maddie wasn’t hungry. She was too overwhelmed by all that had happened that night with Kendra and Amy. And so, while everyone else was eating, she found a quiet spot by the Christmas tree. The ornaments on Aunt Ashley’s tree were nearly all photos, memories of Christmases past.
Until she came to Christmas Eve dinner, Maddie still hadn’t felt quite right about God or her life, really. Yes, she was happy for Hayley. God had answered her prayer about a miracle for her sister, no question. No matter what happened with Patrick, she sensed God wanted her to know Hayley wouldn’t be alone. She was happy and loving and capable of so much more than Maddie had imagined.
Despite what the drowning had taken.
Then there was the miracle of Uncle Luke and Aunt Reagan and their family getting here safely. Whatever had happened with the snowplow, there was no question God had given them a miracle. But even then Maddie still wondered about her own life.
Especially where Connor Flanigan was concerned.
She kept thinking about how she had pushed him away, and shut down all communication. So rude. He was probably glad to be done with her. No surprise he wasn’t making an effort to see her now. He probably couldn’t wait to get back to Liberty and spend time with people who cared about him.
Girls who would actually talk to him.
The whole situation with Connor had taken some of the shine off Christmas.
Right up until the moment they had just witnessed.
Maddie hadn’t given much thought to the fact that the woman had her Aunt Erin’s heart. Having someone’s heart didn’t mean that person took the place of the one who died. Not at all. Maddie’s parents were both doctors—she knew a heart transplant was more of a medical procedure.
But when Kendra gave Amy the locket, when she told her that they each would forever have a part of Amy’s mommy’s heart... something lifted in Maddie’s soul. And all at once the shine of Christmas came back. In Amy’s eyes, Maddie could see hope and healing again.
And if that wasn’t a Christmas miracle, nothing was.
Peace settled over Maddie and she leaned her head against the back of the sofa.God, you’re so amazing. To let little Amy have a better understanding of her losses, a better picture of how her mother’s life made a difference even in death. Meeting Kendra today was another miracle. One that Amy needed.
And maybe all of us, too.
She stared at the tree, at a picture of the Baxter cousins long ago. Before the drowning. And suddenly a thought hit her. If Kendra had felt guilty about having the new heart, the gift would’ve been wasted. Aunt Erin wouldn’t want the woman to go around feeling badly about what had happened.
And Hayley wouldn’t want her to feel bad either.
Yes, she had the gift of a healthy life while Hayley had struggled ever since her accident. But Maddie’s guilt didn’t make things better for Hayley. It was like wasting the gift of life. And if Kendra wasn’t going to waste her gift of a new heart, what right did Maddie have to punish herself by not living?
She took her phone from the pocket of her dark jeans. Whatever Connor was doing today, he hadn’t been in touch. She wanted to text him and apologize again, tell him that the distance between them was all her fault. But she didn’t want to appear desperate.
Besides, she didn’t believe in chasing after a guy. That was a boy’s job, to work hard to get a girl to like him. The problem was Connor had done that. But with every effort he made, Maddie had pushed him away.
She may have lost her chance with Connor, but she knew now she hadn’t lost her chance with God. She lifted her eyes to the photo ornament of all the cousins again.You’re with us, God. I believe that now. You’ve made Your presence known in every situation this Christmas.
And as for Connor... what happened was my own fault.
At least I learned from it.
That much was true. If she ever had the chance, she would share her story with Connor. And if not Connor, then she would share it with whomever God brought into her life. Friends or... someday... that special guy God had planned for her.
She was finished hiding her feelings. In fact, sometime in the next few days she would tell her parents everything, about the guilt she’d been carrying all these years.
Her way of thinking about Hayley had been wrong. God wouldn’t want her to carry around guilt the rest of her life. She knew that now. And He wouldn’t want her to push away His blessings out of some self-directed thought that she didn’t deserve them.
Of course she didn’t deserve God’s blessings. None of them did. But that didn’t give her the right to cut off His goodness, to push away the plans and people He brought into her life. God had good plans for Hayley. And He had good plans for her.
